For many of us in our culture family relationships easily bring up guilt and shame. For some just mentioning family means obligations and we start to squirm. Those thoughts of “what I should do” or “what I should have done” or “what he or she should have done for me” trigger such discomfort! Do we withdraw? Do we placate? attack? Some of each? What might be possible if we brought new understanding to handle such situations?
Filled with grace, we can learn to uplift ourselves to love before reacting. Continue reading →
Many of us feel guilt and shame and at times judge our actions. Wow what an uncomfortable feeling! That inner voice of condemnation can sound so true!
Let’s review some methods for soothing ourselves when that is happening. Over time we can grow to skipping the judgment altogether. In this post we can take a look at some key recommendations provided in the book Radical Forgiveness by Colin Topping. Continue reading →
These blog posts advocate reaching for thoughts that feel better. As we practice paying attention to our thoughts and feelings, we find ourselves more sensitive and catching ourselves feeling not so good more easily. When we notice, we have the power to make a switch, a good thing! Continue reading →
We all have heard the expression, “No Gain Without Pain.” We have all been told it is a good thing to put your shoulder to the grindstone and try hard. Let’s replace those propositions: Life is easy, fun and loving! Naturally we want to rest and recharge and let’s follow that impulse as it arises.
Hooray for letting life flow! Hooray for feeling relaxed and good. Pursuing what is wanted with time to change focus, play and rest. Continue reading →
October 27, 2020
by Janet Pearlman Comments Off on Activating Compassion
Oh boy! We can choose to activate our compassion in lieu of running our hurt reactions from the past. Yes, we can explain past grievances and wounds, feel justified. (Even gather a crowd who will support our righteous indignation! 😊 ) Why not play a more empowering game where we create a world filled with acceptance and healing? Why not admit that we created our pain, then find relief on our own? Let’s review one story of how this is done. Continue reading →
October 20, 2020
by Janet Pearlman Comments Off on Give the Benefit of the Doubt
We are all under so much stress these days. Isn’t it easy to find ourselves frustrated with the behavior of others? “They should not behave that way,” so easily pops into our minds and perhaps out of our mouths. Let’s train ourselves to offer the benefit of the doubt to ourselves and others.
So many of us were judged a lot in our lives—as children and then continuing to our schools and jobs. In fact, we might have noticed that we hear the judging voices in our heads about ourselves. Aha! That might just explain why we formulate negative thinking about another. We see outside ourselves what we are experiencing inside. Oh my! Continue reading →
October 13, 2020
by Janet Pearlman Comments Off on Creating the World We Want to Inhabit Part I
When we experience what we do not want, we get much clearer about what we DO want. If we are afraid, we can easily put out words and behaviors that are not mindful of the effect on others. We can easily spread fear and promote folks becoming more isolated from one another. Do we want a world with more fear? NO! Continue reading →
October 9, 2020
by Janet Pearlman Comments Off on Thoughts Key to Healing
We can put focus on our thoughts when we find ourselves with a bodily condition we do not want. Let’s look carefully here at what we can do with our inner attention to assist ourselves. (and yes, we use tangible treatments too. ) What does an empowered response look like when faced with uncomfortable disharmony of the body?
We promote the healing of a bodily condition even in how we describe it to ourselves. Our words matter much to us! We gain benefit from formulating what we observe in an empowered way.
For example, we may have heard ourselves say: