For many of us in our culture family relationships easily bring up guilt and shame. For some just mentioning family means obligations and we start to squirm. Those thoughts of “what I should do” or “what I should have done” or “what he or she should have done for me” trigger such discomfort! Do we withdraw? Do we placate? attack? Some of each? What might be possible if we brought new understanding to handle such situations?
Filled with grace, we can learn to uplift ourselves to love before reacting.
Read about reaching for new perspectives in a family situation:
Denice felt uncomfortable and wanted to reach for the most evolved response she could find. Our heroine had discovered her sister had been hospitalized and was not well. She had not known this dear sibling had been having hip pain for a year.
D hesitated. What did she want to do? D consulted her friend Lenora who wants to live the teachings as offered in this blog. When Lenora received the call, she felt clear and happy.
L knew the two sisters had once felt closer. In fact, they have not been communicating as much as they used to even 3 or 4 years ago. In addition, like some families, they created fewer family gatherings during this last year of people staying home much more. She began,
“In a recent interview Neale Donald Walsch, the man who wrote Conversations with God puts forth that in the nature of the universe all of us are inherently, unconditionally loved from birth. Therefore, none of us needs forgiveness because in divine eyes we have not committed any transgressions. We are seen as completely enough and ok already. The Abraham Hicks teachings and other spiritual works espouse harmonious viewpoints. We can live into that!
“You feel all this hesitancy? Do you fear your sister may judge you for how much you reached out to her? Maybe you are tempted to think she could have tried harder to contact you. And what about almost a year of discomfort—why were you not called let alone consulted for your knowledge of alternative healing?
Denice, you are already using these teachings. You can take in this radical message: Skip thoughts of guilt, “not enough,” “should have” etc. Yes, you may feel an impulse rising to go down that road. But now consciously you are ready to absorb that all that represents fear-based thinking.
You have practiced the mastery of feeling that love for you pouring down. You see that defending yourself is not needed. In light of that, you make it ok that she may not want your views on politics, health or medicine. It’s nothing personal.
You love your sister deeply. Communicate that! Go right for expressing that.”
Immediately, Denice allowed the wisdom of what her friend was telling her. She was right there – ready to say “Oh yes, yes I see.”
“You can go immediately to accepting her as you find her now and to soothing her. Easily you can tune to that and to expressing the love for her that already fills your heart.
And you can skip any ideas of your ‘owing’ something, no hooks on you.”
Denice paused in silence for a moment, absorbing the words. “That was so valuable! Thank you! I might have reviewed ‘But why didn’t she call me’ for a spell, but no I won’t go there. What a relief to release of all the past hurts or possible recriminations! That was dense and I can digest it.”
We can realize that what matters most is to express our appreciation, acceptance and understanding of one another. So many squabbles about some kind of proving ourselves, one upping, blaming, even placating – we can drop all of that.
Go for loving. All That Is already loves us, and we enjoy beaming that to others.
Do you want to ask a question about what you read here? Do you have a tale of your success in using this principle that you are eager to share? Please comment! We are on the path to loving our lives more and more!
About the Author
Janet Pearlman is a spiritual teacher, counselor, healer and artist. She inspires others to know themselves and compassionately to develop skills of empowerment. In her forty-five year journey of self-discovery, she has deeply studied the teachings of Abraham-Hicks, Ernest Holmes and more. Janet offers individual sessions by phone and in person. Please contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org to arrange an appointment.