Oh boy! We can choose to activate our compassion in lieu of running our hurt reactions from the past. Yes, we can explain past grievances and wounds, feel justified. (Even gather a crowd who will support our righteous indignation! 😊 ) Why not play a more empowering game where we create a world filled with acceptance and healing? Why not admit that we created our pain, then find relief on our own? Let’s review one story of how this is done.
I. The Past
Yolene had a sibling with whom she had difficulty relating.
In childhood a pattern had been running where sister Mila wanted attention from Y when her mother was busy. Mila was younger, a middle child, and was busy making sure she got noticed and respected.
For childhood years and beyond Yolene had filled a role as dutiful big sister and protector, helping to manage those younger family members. Sister Mila had sought out Y to report her tales of woe and to request her to handle various family tasks. In the course of her own healing our heroine followed a path of becoming more confident and powerful, clearing old hurts, standing with self-respect and more.
More recently, Y stepped up when asked, sent appropriate gifts on the holidays. She did not seek out contact beyond that.
II. Inside Y
Now in her heart she wanted to be seen and known as who she had become, the person who she had crafted herself and flowered into being.
III. The Incident and Reframing
Yolene, the star of this story, had an upcoming birthday. The day before her “day” Mila invited her to a family zoom call. Y accepted and inside she groaned. Yes, she saw value in seeing all of Mila’s children and having a bit of family time. In her mind a special event for her meant Y getting lots of attention and showered with affection. Our protagonist knew that this zoom call would not include that.
The appointed time for the call approached. “Wait a minute,” this dear woman had an insight. “I feel tight with resentment just under the surface. Is that how I want to prepare for this group online meeting?”
“Heck, no!” cried our heroine. “Let me see what is going on here.”
Yolene sat quietly and asked herself how she can feel better about what is arising in her at this moment. Where is my power?
“Oh I am filled with wanting more praise and affection. Like the kind I would want from a parent figure.” And “Oh, Mila wants love from a parent type figure too. Neither of us can satisfy the other. The kind of love we want we can tune into from Source Energy.
“Wait a minute! I can enjoy the call a lot more if I drop into my heart and beam love to others in the group. Enjoy them! That is all I have to do.”
Y breathed. Pause.
“I see now I can let go of this former resentment, quite outdated and unnecessary. Look at me! I rise to putting out compassion to my sister, her children, this gathering,” exclaimed our star internally.
The zoom call happened. This dear woman did her best with her new orientation. She smiled a lot. Admitting herself that this was new and challenging, she made the call ok. With a smile she noticed she felt calmer than ever before and at peace with her new point of view. Bit by bit she embraced her new direction with Mila.
Do you want to ask a question? Share a story that resonates with this message of empowerment? Please comment. Does it feel great to take charge of ourselves?? !!!
About the Author
Janet Pearlman is a spiritual teacher, counselor, healer and artist. She has a gift for inspiring others to know themselves compassionately and to develop skills of empowerment. In her forty-three-year journey of self-discovery, she has deeply studied the teachings of Abraham-Hicks, Ernest Holmes and more. Janet offers individual sessions by phone and in person. Please contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org to arrange an appointment.