We all want to get relief from past hurts. Don’t we love it when we can behave in the present in fresh thinking and feeling good!
Sometimes an opportunity for healing shows up as an incident which kicks up negative emotions.
For starters, let’s accept that we sometimes feel upset. We might bury this, pushing it away, telling stories over it while not feeling it. It has been known to happen 😊.
Instead, we can bring focus to our
discomfort and mindfully turn things around. Let’s see if this example provides some useful tools where new results are possible.
Callie had a conversation during a date and found herself judging this fellow harshly and feeling self-protective. Soon afterwards she had time to sit quietly and ask herself what was needed to feel better.
Diving in, she soon realized that this emotional state reminded her of a conversation with her father many years ago. Below the sequence of what popped into her awareness
- Our star recognized that on the daste she was judging this man very quickly. She knew those “push away” thoughts did not feel good.
- Not only did C feel badly from this interaction, she blamed herself for carrying a past hurt about interacting with a male in her past.
- Unwittingly Callie was bringing attitude from “way back when” into the present.
- “Wait! that is shame!” thought C, ” I can choose to see this differently!”
- Instead, that dear woman noticed that she could easily bring a soothing presence to her healing process once she realized what was needed.
- She could say kind things to that younger self, tell her she did the best she could then. She had more confidence now and better skills. This language softened the wound–both in the childhood past and the more recent episode. Now she had some fresh thinking.
- Hey the soothing was working: this valiant soul felt better. She kept it up. She allowed some tears of release flow.
- Wow the hours spent processing really served to help her go after a clarity and ease that she had wanted for years.
- Fun to emphasize that the dating journey helped her get happier — producing some contrast she used for her advantage. She cleaned it up and she felt better. YAY
- Good addendum: it took a few days for her to see how cool was this healing and to appreciate herself for it all!
After a few days, she realized that she had more tolerance for the new man than she had felt the day of their meeting. Enjoying her interest, she wrote a note to make contact again. He responded, and they exchanged ideas for another get-together. Ahh she relished feeling a fresh beginning under way. Bigger point yet– whatever happened with this particular “date”, she prized feeling easier inside where before she had felt tightness, withholding and tension. She loved this light hearted sense and the presence now of her playful spirit.
Undoubtedly, most readers have released past hurts and felt relief. This time Callie was more acutely aware of the power of making what she felt alright– accepting where she was in the moment. Breathing into that before the reaching for feeling better. Not moving past that too quickly. Our heroine went more deeply into self-acceptance: she was ok no matter what she feels: in this now and in any way she might show up in the future.
Do you want to comment to recount one of your stories of making yourself good when the outdated inner messages labeled you “wrong” or “having made a mistake?” What you share has value for all of us. It may feel good to let us know you can relate :).
About the Author
Janet Pearlman is a spiritual teacher, counselor, healer and artist. She has a gift for inspiring others to know themselves compassionately and to develop skills of empowerment. In her forty-three-year journey of self-discovery, she has deeply studied the teachings of Abraham-Hicks, Ernest Holmes and more. Janet offers individual sessions by phone and in person. Please contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org to arrange an appointment.