Stream Blog - Janet PearlmanJanet Pearlman | Living in the Stream of Yes

March 25, 2025
by Janet Pearlman
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Tipping’s Thoughts on Forgiveness

Many of us have been trained to judge ourselves and when we do so, we feel uncomfortable, agitated and weary. The feelings of guilt and shame run and that inner voice of condemnation can sound so true!

How can we soothe ourselves when we find ourselves in that unwanted state? Let’s look at some key recommendations provided in the book Radical Forgiveness[1] by Colin Tipping.

Isla’s Story

Isla had been enjoying a friendship with a woman, Irene, for over 6 years now. They checked in each week and often arranged some outing they could both enjoy: a lunch, browsing in a charity shop, talking a walk.

Each recognized they had many differences and still they appreciated one another staying largely on topics they shared.

During the last year, new tensions arose with pressures on the women from pandemic and polarized attitudes.

One day Irene phoned feeling deeply upset. This friend could no longer accept their differences in political points of view. Irene announced she could no longer be a friend to Isla and this was goodbye.

For our heroine this was shaking, unnerving, disappointing. Her mind went to a common refrain under such circumstances, “What did I do wrong?”

Guidance on Forgiveness from Tipping

1) Take responsibility for what was created and make it ok.

Our Dear One knew that she had been an active participant here—of course she had played a role. Issy reached for accepting what had occurred, and she knew she would continue to thrive. This would be ok.

2) Notice the self judgments.

Yes, Issy had started down the road to blaming herself. Our star began to tell herself that she had shared too much and ventured to areas where they do not agree. “Oh dear, I fear I erred in the way I spoke and behaved,” thought Isla.

Isla had practiced many tools of self-awareness and bringing self-love. In this account the star was catching herself in these judgments quickly and appreciated that she knew how to be kind to herself, even as the other accused her of various transgressions.

So many of us humans experience thoughts like this.

Yes, we notice self-judgments and we can make it ok that we have them. This phenomenon runs rampant in our culture.

Good Awareness! It is ok to have been raised on Planet Earth in these times!

3) Cultivate a willingness to accept oneself as is.

Issy had let herself flow with some opinions, express as she loved to do. This friend got disturbed. Our heroine loved the path of growth and self-expression. She greatly valued her clarity.

4) Tune into this present moment.

The protagonist called someone for support and continued uplifting and loving herself. She put more focus on tuning into what she could enjoy—the landscapes, her creativity, reaching out to make new friends and enrich the connection with others in her environment.

For example, Issy heard birds chirping all winter, relished the signs of spring popping all around her blossoming of trees, stands of yellow flowers and more.

We can “test drive” Tipping’s suggestions, experiment with seeing when and how they help us, and employ what’s useful in our toolkit for changing our habits of thought.

Please share what happens for you in the comments. What questions arose, if any? How were you enriched? It feels so good to lift our guilt and let life flow!

About the Author

Janet Pearlman is a spiritual teacher, counselor, healer and artist. These posts demonstrate everyday applications of the path to greater self knowledge and mastery. Opportunities for greater empowerment abound in the moments of our lives. As we all go for operating from a centered and loving space, we are creating a world where peace can prevail. In her forty-six year journey of self-discovery, Janet has deeply studied the teachings of Abraham-Hicks, Ernest Holmes, Inayat Khan and more. Janet offers individual sessions by phone and in person. Please contact her at jpearl555@earthink.net to arrange an appointment.

[1] Colin C Tipping, Radical Forgiveness, Making Room for the Miracle(Marietta, GA:Global 13 Publications Co, Trust, 1997)

March 18, 2025
by Janet Pearlman
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Thoughts on Where We Focus and When

Each day as we grow on this journey, we can awaken more and more to the power of our focus! We enjoy the flow of creation and we pause when we feel less than good and inspiration momentarily wanes. In that case, we switch where we look, reboot and rest.

Do you recall how Leonardo da Vinci would address it (as in How to Think like Leonardo da Vinci[1])? If the solution was not flowing easily, he recommended taking the time to go juggle for awhile. Allow one’s mind to concentrate on that activity a bit. Rest but actively engage elsewhere.

With that, we allow ourselves to receive a solution.

In practice, we can substitute some other focus for juggling . When we experiment with filling ourselves with some form of both play and appreciation, the process will produce results.

Change Where You Look

Example #1

Last night Barry woke with a bad dream. B attempted to return to slumber but he found himself disturbed by the emotions and images of that still swirled inside him.

What to do? His “trick”: change his focus. Barry left his bed, went to his device to check email. The man found both stimulation of a fond memory and a delight in the prospect of a new connection.

His mind was soothed and then he laid down again. With B’s hands he offered himself some Jin Shin Jyutsu Self-Help—found himself drifting off and then slept another few hours. Yes! This protagonist succeeded in shifting his attention.

Example #2

Gordon reminisced about a brother-in-law, Tod, from whom he’d been distanced by a divorce. Tom and G had become friends sharing the common interests of art, gardening and personal growth.

Gordon had a trick to remembering Tom’s birthday: it fell a week before his own. Gordon went to jot off a celebratory note to T with a light spirit. Part way through G wanted to name Tom’s sons and realized he had forgotten their names.

This star reviewed some past correspondence in an effort to find recall those appellations. No luck then. Onward he went in the greeting and wished well to the sons generically.

Our hero knew the magic of shifting focus. G went on with some quiet time, putting attention on thoughts like Ernest Holmes says, “I know and understand that Good Alone is Real.”[2] He breathed and felt good.

A bit later, the dear man looked again at past emails which might contain the names of Tom’s children. Know what? This time his freshened perspective had pay off. The names are Evan and Aidan.

We can raise our awareness to notice when we are on a roll and when we find ourselves off track. When we notice we can wield our power by taking a pause instead of forcing our way. We want to use our time more effectively, stay in the flow of life, enjoy ourselves more and get pay off with greater ease.

Do you have illustrations of how you have wielded your focus to your benefit? Please comment and show us how!

About the Author

[1] Gelb, Michael, How to Think like Leonardo da Vinci (New York, NY: Delacorte Press, Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group, 1998)

[2] Ernest Holmes, 365 Science of Mind Reader (New York: Jeremy P Tarcher/ Penguin, 2001)

March 12, 2025
by Janet Pearlman
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Focus on Compassion Over Resentment

We can find ourselves so irritated at another. If we are spit on, it is tempting to spit back. Does spitting back serve us? With that we are focusing on what we do NOT want. Keep perusing to hear about another approach.

The Account

Debbie attended an exercise class with a woman named Cassie.

Cassie resented Debbie. Debbie was not sure what triggered the response: her skill level which was a bit higher? Not approving of some aspects of D’s lifestyle.

Getting Hurt

Debbie wanted to remain calm, contained, and be as friendly as she could toward Cassie. Debbie made harmony more important than retribution as a matter of both principle and effectiveness.

Cassie would say hurtful things. One day C actually whispered offensive words into D’s ears, demeaning her character.

Debbie felt shocked and hurt by this behavior.

Week after week C came to the class and our star too. How could Deb handle herself so that she did not attract unwanted from C? How could she wield her personal power in both self-protection and compassion?

The heroine caught herself worrying about the next meeting. D felt fear and resentment. A focused inner response was needed!

The Pivot

First, Debbie wanted to lift her own spirits. She spent time imagining what delighted her and what flowed well in her life. Hey she could name new clients, and other fun opportunities.

For many weeks Debbie successfully avoided Cassie. If C came to class, they interacted in cordial demeanor.

Weeks passed. In one session Debbie felt a bit depressed about something in her life. That day Cassie interacted and made some unkind gestures and references.

A class event was coming up that this protagonist wanted to enjoy it. Deb got deliberate: she practiced her good mood. D kept in her mind feelings and images that supported and cheered her. For example, the dear woman recalled times she really enjoyed this class and how good her body felt.

The Event

The day of the event came. Debbie got lost on the way to the event and could feel the habit to start bad mouthing the organizers and complaining. Whoa there! D shifted herself and sat quietly a minute. She had much to appreciate.

Soon she was out of her car. Just then Cassie parked. D stopped on the sidewalk to wait and walk in with Cassie. Both chatted on the walk inside.

In a few minutes while the organizers relayed last minute plans and instructions, C stood near D. “Wow,” D said to herself, “Cassie’s eyes are filled with fear. Oh my, probably that fear fuels C’s unkind comments.”

When Deb processed this, she realized the “attack” had been nothing personal. In the day’s proceedings, D looked for opportunities to show Cassie kindness and support.

The event went well Debbie felt at ease and enjoyed herself. She kept her focus on sending light to her teammates and the viewing fans.

Isn’t it satisfying to view how one woman used her power inside, shifting her internal landscape? Debbie shifted out of her own negativity and instead, uplifted herself and those around her. Cassie has never spoken unkindly to her again.

What successes are you having using your power to change inside first to make a difference? Please comment and share them! We all love inspiration!

About the Author

March 4, 2025
by Janet Pearlman
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Perceive the Good and Thrive

We have the power to notice our emotions and steer ourselves back to knowing the Good. Please soak in this account of how one woman shifted her thinking and basked in the Good that flowed.

Lola’s Story

Lola belonged to a group where members listened to one another and offered spiritual support. The group leader sent out a request to members that each participate in a task that would bring income to the group such as sale of raffle tickets, baked goods sales and more.

Our star found the prospect of these jobs burdensome and depressing. L felt pressured to do more than what she could easily offer and preferred to contribute from her strengths and what brought her joy.

Hey, Lola observed that she felt quite irritated by this request. This heroine felt an impulse to quit the group altogether. Ok time for this protagonist to sit quietly and find what was the core of her upset.

Breathing in and out Lola reached for soothing herself. Oh my, L felt fear and resentment of being forced to do what she felt was not best for her. L can make these feelings ok, breathing. L can contemplate one step at a time.

Recovery from Fear and Irritation

As Lola came back into present time, she followed her ritual of pulling an oracle card. Wow the card she chose articulated just what she had been observing in the group leader. That person was trying too hard, pushing for goals that were too far ahead of what was flowing easily now. One key sentence from the card booklet read, “Don’t let fear that your desire won’t manifest cause you to try to bend life to your own will…. Instead, just show up—be present. Attend to what is before you in each moment.”[1]

The card articulated her feeling so well. How refreshing! Lola felt understood, and then she allowed herself a short nap.

Upon waking she felt a simple and empowering thought, “If I am asked directly to sign up for these projects, I can decline, stating I don’t want to do those things at this time. “

Ready to Interact

Prepared now to stand up for herself, Lola again found her groove. She wanted to move to music as she prepared her morning green drink. Then off L went to the group meeting.

The dear woman had shifted to feeling calm and strong. The Universe supplied her more gifts that day. The lecture that morning felt perfect to reinforce the inner work Lola had done.

When we notice a habit of thought not serving us, we can make up new formulations and attitudes! We can attune to what the Universe continues to provide for us—the sun rises, new opportunities flow, synchronicity abounds!

At the meeting colleagues at the gathering exchanged strategies for getting through stubbornness, anger and fears.

Lola was delighted to share her tools (ones she had used just hours earlier) and benefit from the experiences of others. L felt connected then and respected, part of the world-wide human cohort reaching beyond immediate self-protection.

Really cool to notice that so much went well. Much enjoyment and good vibe—L noticed that as she returned to well-being and Good flowed to her!

Worth noticing what thoughts are running! Worth soothing ourselves!

Do you have a tale to tell along these lines? Please honor us with it!

About the Author

[1] Alana Fairchild, Rumi Oracle Guidebook, (Victoria, Australia: Blue Angel Publishing, 2016) p.141

February 25, 2025
by Janet Pearlman
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Inspiration to Use Our Personal Power

We are committed to this path of growth. So many of us are finding our personal power and inspiring ourselves and others. Noticing where our thoughts are running is such a key! If we feel other than good, we decide to reach toward uplift, feeling better bit by bit.

Ernest Holmes wrote extensively on this way of thinking. Read on to catch a whiff.

“… Out of my personal experience come the negative suggestions that arise from the race consciousness. If I permit them to, they act as a mesmeric or hypnotic power over my imagination…. But I know that there is a Presence, a Power, and a Law within me, irresistibly drawing everything that makes life worthwhile into my experience. … I know that nothing but good can go out from me, therefore the good I receive is but the completion of a circle—fulfillment of my desire for all….

So, I refuse to judge according to appearances, either mental or physical, no matter what the thought says or what the appearance seems to be. There is always a higher Power. Upon this Power I rely with absolute confidence that it will never fail me. I have dominion over all apparent evil, which is merely a belief in which I no longer indulge.” [1]

Learning to live into this understanding: we notice how we feel and shift toward wanted.

Marguerite’s Story

Marguerite had an unplanned visit from her landlord, Hal. H drove up, asked her a question about a health condition. When Hal did not like her response, he went on a long-winded speech about how he viewed the pertinent health issue.

The man went on in an angry tone, a harangue, for at least 10 minutes. At one point H started to apologize for coming on so strong, but continued his monologue.

Marguerite listened silently, and he left fairly soon afterwards.

Soon M observed how tense she felt, annoyed and frightened by his remarks. Next, the star began research on local housing, feeling calmed a bit by this focus. Then she went on with her life, diving into activities she enjoyed.

The next day Marguerite sat with herself to review what she knew deep inside her. As Holmes had asserted, she tuned into the enormous, unstoppable Power of Good.

About 5 years earlier M had turned her situation over to that Power to land the rental opportunity where she now resides.

Dwelling in that memory for a moment, the heroine basked in how she had been guided, protected and provided a “good find,” one fulfilling a list of apartment features she had wanted.

Soon M was filled with a strong Positive Vibration. At that time this woman had surrendered to the Power of Good and as a result had received what she wanted.

Thie protagonist taps into that wonderful grounding as needed. Years later she can report that incident with her landlord had no effect on her housing. M had been protected.

Do you want to share a similar experience? Perhaps you can share a story where you experienced the Power of Good yourself. Please share. We connect and raise one another up!

About the Author

[1] Holmes, Ernest, 365 Science of Mind (New York, Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin, 2001) 192

February 19, 2025
by Janet Pearlman
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Flow of Good Exceeds Imagination

We are on the path to seeing increasing Good, our perceptive lens now discerning so much that’s there to appreciate including our own qualities and actions. What can flow to us in our light-hearted and loving state can exceed what we might imagine. Please read on for illustration.

Illustration

Danely attended a class run by Haley about promoting business on social media. As the class ended, Haley volunteered to spend some special time with Danely. Both had a lively discussion and enjoyed the synergy of exchange.

A few weeks later, Haley invited Danely to speak at a conference H was organizing. Thrilled at the opportunity, D signed on, prepared extensively and presented at this H’s gathering months later.

A week after the conference H circulated evaluation materials to participants, which assembled the results and included relevant commentary to each speaker.

Reading this email Danley experienced a strong emotional response. D felt betrayed and that H had taken the side of a few commentators who were displeased with aspects of D’s performance.

Danely did not discuss her reaction with Haley. She decided to move on while doing her best to uplift herself.

Second Chapter

Almost two years later, Haley commented in a friendly way to one of Danely’s posts on Facebook. D thought, “Wow that was such a friendly and kind statement! Let me respond.”

Then this heroine wrote a private message to Haley. D shared briefly that she had been hurt. However, now Danley said to H, “I appreciated that speaking opportunity so much. You offered abundant encouragement and appreciate to me. Would you accept an offer to experience my coaching to promote positive vibes—my treat!”

Haley accepted that invitation readily and with enthusiasm. They agreed on a day and time.

Punchline of Piece

The session got off to a good start and both parties exchanged that each had looked for positives in this time focused at home and found them. Both realized putting attention on appreciation and gratitude was serving them well. Each were organizing groups online for support and had a good time exchanging experiences and lessons learned.

During the conversation, Haley shared,

“From the beginning when I was first meeting you, I was struck by your enthusiasm and vitality. So unusual!

In each encounter I have so admired those qualities in you and wanted to emulate you. You are so inspiring!”

Having felt hurt and embarrassment after reading that evaluation summary, Danely was shocked Haley felt that way. D had been triggered and had taken personal offense from one sentence in an email two years ago.

This heroine thought, “Wow I had no idea H thought such positive things about me. And also, now I feel so happy that I did the inner work to let go of the ego bruise and that subsequently, responded to Haley’s kind words on Facebook.”

Receiving this praise felt great. If she had not cleared her own “stuff,” the distorted opinion would have continued.

What a lesson! Danely had cleared herself and thereby was able to perceive the goodwill of Haley’s Facebook comment. Then, not only did Good flow to her but in a wonderful way she had not imagined.”

Isn’t this worth noticing?

Got something along these lines to share? Of questions about the process? Please comment!

About the Author

February 12, 2025
by Janet Pearlman
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Insight on Momentum

We have lived situations where we are triggered into an upset. At times the upset seems to continue and our unhappiness deepens. The Abraham Hicks teachings labeled this phenomenon “tarbaby”. We are uncomfortably kind of stuck in goo.

Let’s recognize the momentum and use our power to steer toward good feeling again.

First, we become aware of our low mood.

Second, we observe what is going on here: we have got a roll of discontent going.

In those early moments of responding, we might go into the common pattern of reviewing “what went wrong.” The voice inside sounds so innocent in wanting to learn from this episode what we can.

However, if we feel awful, and then review the awful, we get more awful! Oops. Wrong direction.

Instead, let’s make where we are ok. It’s really the wisest course. “But I am suffering!” we say to ourselves, feeling miserable.

Pause and tune into the big picture of Life. We can say to ourselves, “Breathe. This is temporary. We are rolling with the momentum of what we DO NOT want. If we push against it, WE MAKE MORE OF IT.

Next, we can occupy our dear selves with some activity we enjoy—on another subject. Watering plants, playing ONLINE Wordwipe, taking a walk, riding a bike, working on the yacht out back, etc.

Story Elaborates

One evening Karla noticed she had missed notices of overdrafts from her bank. Fortunately, K’s bank used funds in a savings account to pay some bills. She incurred a fee but the invoices were covered. Our heroine had a strong emotional reaction to this error.

What did she do?

First, the star calmed herself to discern what had happened and to move money into the appropriate account.

Then, the dear woman telephoned a sympathetic friend to share. Both women admitted how overstressed they both felt. In the process of the call, both had laughed and made it ok to miss some details. Isn’t it soothing to understand that the human journey involves some blips!

Soon Karla wanted to turn in for the night. As she lay there her habit popped up and she started to review her error. That line of thinking stimulated the strong recent upset.

Wait a minute! K reminded herself she was not in imminent danger. In fact, this protagonist had done what she could for tonight.

In that moment this gal felt fear about what neglectful thing she might do next. These kinds of thought flowing showed her the momentum that was rolling.

To help herself Karla turned to her Jin Shin Jyutsu practice to shift herself. Jin Shin Jyutsu would assist her in a return to balance.

K put hands on herself in the positions to handle extreme emotional distress.

To do this she put her right hand on her left side where her neck meets her shoulder. Then put the left hand above the collar bone on the same side. She held that for 5 to 10 minutes.

Then laying on her left side, Karla put her left hand on the middle neck and her right hand on her right sit bone.

Best she could, she called up memories of times she received love and comfort, others helping her.

Even affirming it is ok to be upset.

The winding down process required quite a bit of time. We are ok as humans allowing ourselves the time it takes to rebalance.

The heroine allowed herself to ease. Before too long, our star felt soothing vibration, relaxing and then an ability to sleep.

Take Away Message

A human cannot go from feeling awful to radiant and delighted in one sweep. The “feeling bad” may well have some momentum. Honor it and give it some time to dissipate.

In our culture, some of us might deny the feeling and put a smile on your face. Instead, it is more effective to take a time out, find the balance bit by bit and then gradually come back to ease. Offer yourself gift of some time. Flow along to allow recovery bit by bit.

We control ourselves and our vibration. We can become aware, slow down to steer toward what we like better.

Questions? Please comment with a story about momentum. We love to hear it!

About the Author

February 4, 2025
by Janet Pearlman
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Kindness to Self

We want to align with Source Energy, tuned to Divine Wisdom. When we are so aligned, we are feeling as good as we can in this moment. Great expression of kindness to ourselves, too.

Don’t we love to hear that we are GOOD? In fact, we are wonderful beyond measure!

The vast majority of us have picked up self-put -down, limiting beliefs, mental habits, in the course of living in this culture. How do we make adjustments to habits that operate and of which we are often unaware?

Bruce Lipton, PhD, tells us that 95% of our time we operate from subconscious programming. In this moment as you are reading you have access to the 5%, you have the chance to change. IN THIS MOMENT.

57 Dr. Bruce Lipton Quotes On The Biology Of Belief

Matilda’s Shift

Matilda attended a lecture and felt very irritated by the speaker. Her reaction was visceral. The way she was hearing his words—well she got triggered to feel terrible about herself. Aroused were old stuff of “not good enough,” not successful and wanting to withdraw from life.

Though in recent years this star had regularly reached for thoughts that feel better, in this moment she felt overwhelmed with discouragement and upset. After part of a day the heroine blurted to herself,

“Wait! I am not shifting. I am allowing my mind to run with complaining. Momentum of what I don’t want is operating.”

In the past Matilda might have said to herself “What a jerk! You want to be appreciating and you are listing complaints!”

Instead, the dear woman woke up to the fact that she had the power to feel better. What could she think about instead of this?

Could she appreciate? Yes, this heroine needed to shift to her favorite topics: birds singing, color, growing flowers, dear friends. She got away from thinking about the lecture!

She could relish that she had taken her power again. YAY. “I am noticing what I am doing. GOOD FOR ME NOTICING. I want to be more constructive and loving now!” “

Matilda can accept that changing a habit involves ongoing focus. Bruce Lipton emphasized how much repetition of the new habit is required. In his seminars, Dr Joe Dispenza teaches how the body joins more neurons in a new pathway with the repetitions– he features slides showing neurons forming chains to demonstrate!

Noticing, shifting, repeating. Humans take some time to change habits of thought.

Active awareness in the present moment, being kind to ourselves while we persist to practice new thoughts. We are exercising our personal power as we follow this simple guideline.

For more tools to shift subconsciously held thoughts, see

https://www.brucelipton.com/belief-change-and-energy-psychology-modalities

Are you experimenting with changing your thought habits? Please share a tidbit with us!

About the Author

January 28, 2025
by Janet Pearlman
0 comments

Turning Irritation Into Ease

We do not have to settle for feeling irritated for very long. No! We can develop skill to reach out of that discomfort pronto!

How One Woman Uplifted

Carlotta arrived at a training course. Admittedly she felt unsettled. Inside she roiled with chatter, “Why did I come here? Was this a good idea? I already am familiar with this stuff. Maybe this was not the best timing for me. Also, the teacher is not focusing on what I think is most important…”

Carlotta complained in the privacy of her head.

In the first hour the training leader involved everyone in an exercise. The teacher instructed, “Please allow your arms to cross and gently hold the inside of your knees. Next for a few minutes let’s breathe together in quiet awareness”

Carlotta participated. After a bit she felt a wave of uplifting energy flow through her. this was such a simple tool: she liked it!

C was attending a class in Jin Shin Jyutsu and its benefit began immediately.

As she held the inside of her knees, right hand on left knee; left hand on right knee, the momentum of good feeling started to flow.

With the shift C remembered, “Oh yea, I want to watch for what is going well. I want to make my own good time!”

Carlotta immersed herself in the class, gave JSJ treatments and received them, learned many wonderful insights about this body mind spirit art. https://streamofyes.com/jin-shin-jyutsu/

Take Away Tips

As the class released, our heroine identified several enriching points:

1. Firstly, we cross arms, then move to hold inside our knees. Enjoy breathing and the lift of energy through us.

2. We meet Goals in Balance and Ease. Feel good most of the time on the way to a destination. (Throw out formulations of working hard with no rest.)

3. We accept tips that flow: someone recommended a place for an art show.

4. We make a new friend and share. Following, observe how enlivened and satisfied we feel.

5. Finally and calmly, we become aware of so much Well Being Abound around us!

The dear woman shifted her focus to good feeling and joy on that first day, pledging to herself to keep attuned to interest and enlivening herself throughout the five-day program.

Carlotta flowed through that five-day meeting by listening and enjoying. Oh My once she released that first day, she appreciated the program. C even noticed how good it felt to breathe and rest!

As the class closed, she reviewed what a good time she had had. She felt revitalized on many levels. :)

Pay Off

The protagonist honored herself for turning around her mood that first day. Isn’t it great to notice how her active awareness made all the difference! She had gleaned many insights and benefits and had a good time.

Carlotta followed that leader, allowed herself to experience the flow of well being. She flowed!

Have some similar experiences? Care to share one or more! Please comment! We will all gain value from hearing your successes and wisdom!

About the Author

January 21, 2025
by Janet Pearlman
0 comments

Observe and Let Go

We all have experienced an upsetting reaction as we live through some unwanted situation. Then, feelings of fear, guilt and shame may rise up and grab our attention.

As we move toward more and more self-mastery, we notice that these upsets show us “our stuff”. Michael Singer author of The Untethered Soul speaks to this:

“If you truly want to grow spiritually, you’ll realize that (not standing up to) … your stuff is keeping you trapped. Eventually, you’ll want out at any cost. You will then realize that life is actually trying to help you. Life is surrounding you with people and situations that stimulate growth.

You don’t have to worry about right or wrong. You don’t have to worry about other people’s issues. You only have to open your heart in the face of anything and everything and to permit the purification process to take place.

When you (open your heart) , the first thing you will see is that situations will unfold that hit your stuff. But in truth that’s exactly what has been happening your entire life. The only difference is now you see it as a good thing because it is an opportunity to let go.”[1]

How to let go?

We consciously witness our condition. We find that place inside us that stays calm and observes us under all circumstances. Singer states,

“You notice that there is something to be released. You then must be aware that you, the one who notices the stuff coming up, is distinct from what you are experiencing. … You are noticing it, but who are you?

This place of Centered Awareness is the Seat of the witness, the seat of Self… If you let go and then stay in that seat of awareness, what you are feeling will pass.”[2]

We can bear witness to the upset, feel what is uncomfortable, allow it to flow through us.

Analyzing and reviewing the situation takes us deeper into that fear and represents holding on not letting go. It takes more of our awareness and keeps the stuff in place.

The Example

Chloe attended a special planning meeting which was to review topics with which C often felt uncomfortable feelings. While listening, she started to feel vulnerable, angry, shamed, guilty and more.

Inside she reached for calm and a return to feeling confident. She observed that she was not shifting immediately. Can she make that ok to feel lousy at that moment?

Granted, Chloe was less upset than in past experiences on this subject: she was making progress in her mastery. As soon as she could, she left the meeting, went on to food shopping and partook of soothing internal conversation.

Internally, our star was tempted to start a tirade, pushing against the assumptions and contents of the lecture.

C knew that fighting brought more of what she did not want. Instead, our girl followed her inner guidance to get her mind on some self-expression that felt good to her.

Her main agenda at that point was to be with herself, pass some minutes and go for enjoying what she could.

Our heroine realized she had a bit of headache. Mostly, C made what she was experiencing ok. That meant she was ok being reactive and miserable for a few minutes. Release any struggle, just let it go.

That afternoon letting go looked like taking a walk, working on an article, writing a friendly email. Chloe was in the flow, ate an early dinner and watched a tv program new to her and enjoyed it.

Yup, rather than struggle and rage, this protagonist took the advice to “keep going.”.

The next day dawned and the sun came out. She let herself be.

In our culture, it is common to deny the feeling and put a smile on your face. Instead, it is more effective to surrender to the feeling in that moment, then moving gradually into coming back to ease. Offer yourself gift of some time. Flow with the momentum and allow recovery bit by bit.

Have some stories of your letting go that you want to share? Please comment! Have a question? This author will respond 😊

Take Away Message

A human cannot go from feeling awful to radiant and delighted in one sweep. The “feeling bad” has some momentum. Honor it and give it some time to dissipate.

About the Author

[1] Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul (Oakland, New Harbinger Publications, Inc. 2007) p.74

[2] Ibid, p. 75