What a glorious moment when we realize we can “protect” ourselves by NOT fighting back. What if instead we strengthen and stabilize our own knowledge of Well Being.
In the moment of a confrontation, we might fill with fear and follow the impulse to defend ourselves. Isn’t that done all around us? We have habits to fight.
Is that our only choice? NO! Instead, we can face hostile words with composure. What we remained balanced, marshalled our own personal power and forfeited taking the “fight” bait.
The Tale
Geraldine and her partner P have some habits of interacting that are based in anger and fear. For example, P would ask G to do something for him in a commanding voice. G would feel ordered around and not want to be addressed in that tone.
Soon, the exchange would shift into two angry raised voices, hurling of insults and the like.
Geraldine was noticing her own reactions. Becoming more aware of her thoughts and reactions. “Hey,” G exclaimed, “I want a happier life! What are steps I can take to get that? I often list how I want that other person to change, but what can I do?”
Our star acquired some support and crafted some new strategies for interactions with P.
New Response
Geraldine dove into experimenting with responding differently. When P started directing angry accusations her way, she did not react. She chose to remember she was safe no matter what he said and to maintain her calm.
What happens when invectives are thrown and there is no reaction? Interestingly, P was taken aback. He stalled and sputtered. He turned up the meanness of the insults. G stayed calm. He backed off.
Geraldine felt immediate pay off. Whereas with the former approach, she fought and hurled insults. This time she kept her composure and her feelings were not wounded. The fight had no fuel.
Empowered Perspective
This heroine stood up to her own deep fear. Formerly she had thought her safety depended on fighting back. As she supports herself, she succeeds in creating a happier life.
Have you taken a new posture toward a habitual exchange that had been unsatisfying? Let’s share stories and support one another in these acts that take composure and courage.
We can all cut the wires behind those “buttons” in us that get pushed. We claim freedom!
About the Author
Janet Pearlman is a spiritual teacher, counselor, healer and artist. These posts demonstrate everyday applications of the path to greater self knowledge and mastery. Opportunities for greater empowerment abound in the moments of our lives. As we all go for operating from a centered and loving space, we are creating a world where peace can prevail. In her forty-six year journey of self-discovery, Janet has deeply studied the teachings of Abraham-Hicks, Ernest Holmes, Inayat Khan and more. Janet offers individual sessions by phone and in person. Please contact her at jpearl555@earthink.net to arrange an appointment.