Stream Blog - Page 3 of 62 - Janet PearlmanJanet Pearlman | Living in the Stream of Yes

November 22, 2023
by Janet Pearlman
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Keep Going: Urgent Moments Can Resolve Easily.

Woven into the fabric of our living we will experience blips. It is guaranteed that we will experience what we do not prefer and then we realize what we DO prefer. Some events feel so urgent and yet as we persist, find some ease, resolution can come easily.

Constance and a friend went about the task of emptying a storage space, moving boxes and other materials out of one house to another. She did great on the flight of stairs, up and down, up and down.

When the process was nearly complete, Connie stepped out the door onto the front porch and felt stabbing pain. Oops, her foot had landed at the edge of a thick straw doormat, half on the mat and half off. Her ankle took a serious twist.

Y–ouch!

Trained in energy healing, immediately C put hands on her ankle for a few minutes. Generously her friend picked up the slack and handled what remained of this transfer project.

That afternoon the pain spiked. Our heroine tended to her injury with ice, natural remedies and a Jin Shin Jyutsu session.

In addition to the hurt itself, C admitted she felt frightened. Constance wants to remain self-sufficient.

Later in the evening, our star felt physical pain rise and fall and so did her fear. Alone, she cried for a couple of minutes and felt relief.

Wait a minute! C told herself this would pass. She was not alone in life! No! She was moving around even if for the moment it was a slow hobble. Knowing she could access the support of a naturopath for special herbal formula also helped ease her trepidation.

Experimenting with different ways to hold her body, this dear woman did reduce her pain in movement; the fear eased too. By bedtime she felt balanced.

Punchline: The following morning Constance arose and could walk easily. No pain from her foot– she could move erect and normally.

Constance was practicing her version of going with the flow. She has slowed down, put focus on her condition. She refrained from “pushing through” as some might advise and she did persist in ease.

Two days later, she had little remnants of her twisted ankle.

Wow– isn’t good to notice that she could recover so quickly! One might think pain means something really bad and long lasting is happening– it does not! Instead, soon Constance felt a re-boot, a kind of refreshment and in awe of how life moves through.

Let’s notice how Forces of Good was present the whole time. C felt resilient with the flow.

Do you have stories of situations that seem so urgent yet easily resolve? Please comment.

November 15, 2023
by Janet Pearlman
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Observing Fear in Romance

Gosh we load so many emotions into a male/female “romantic” interaction. With sharpened awareness we can learn about ourselves and our fears, we notice how trepidations cloud our perceptive lens.

Deana is learning more about herself, growing more cognizant of when she operates from balanced place and when she runs some emotional reaction. D wants to feel good 😊 wihle she creates a healthy growing relationship with a man.

The Example

Carl and Deana have plans for 12:30 pm to meet at the art exhibit. Then go for lunch. Two hours before the appointed time, Carl texts Deana to report his car is broken and he is not coming.

This would have been the fourth date between Carl and Deana. On the morning of the second date, he had cancelled the lunch date. Out of four dates this has happened twice.

After the change in plans, Deana carries on, accomplishing some satisfying tasks. This dear woman loved the beautiful day putting leaves in bags to store for compost.

As D ponders this scene, she feels a bit uncomfortable with today and the pattern of cancellation. Thoughts pop up: “Is she being messed with? Is she getting involved with someone who is frivolous and not a match for her level of integrity?”

Next morning Carl texts that felt awful cancelling like that. And he knows he has done that before.

Deana tells him she did notice this was the second time. Last time she had been pleased how promptly he rescheduled and then followed through.

Meanwhile this heroine becomes aware that her mind has turned negative and suspicious. Ah yes D knows she is thinking that way out of what appears to be protecting herself.

In her new way of thinking—is that actually helping anything? She decides, “No it is not. Why don’t I perceive this as a car blip.”

Shifting Deana focuses on keeping her own good mood. Star of this story prefers staying in the present moment over feels better than running thoughts of suspicion. Is she fine just as thing are? Yes, she is. In fact, she has much to appreciate regardless of this date or not.

The Next Event

Later that day Carl telephones her to make amends. He asks her for another chance to set up a meeting. Deana has maintained her own good mood and finds it easy to agree. The two arrange a rendezvous for the next Saturday.

Deana can more clearly discern what’s happening by maintaining her own balance.

We can invent threatening tigers with our thoughts. And we can marshal our personal power. If we are running fear or anger, we can shift our own thinking to remain calm abd happier. Where was that tiger anyway?

Want to share a similar story in the comments? Please do!

In providing an account we do so assist one another!

November 8, 2023
by Janet Pearlman
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Choose Love Over Guilt

For many of us in this culture family relationships can easily trigger feelings of guilt and obligations. In this post we offer some new thoughts on family and new strategies that feel better. Let’s take a look at the teachings which encourage us to uplift ourselves: choose love over guilt before reacting.

An Example with Janice and an Advisor

Janice had discovered her sister had been hospitalized and was not well. J had not known this dear sibling had been suffering hip pain for a year. Upon learning the news, this heroine felt uncomfortable—guilt ready to happen– and wanted to reach for an evolved response.

Our star sought advice about how to handle this situation. Janice consulted her friend Daniella who wants to live in balance and compassion as described in this blog.

Daniella knew the two sisters had once felt closer: they have not been communicating as much as they had been four years ago. In addition, like some families, they created fewer clan gatherings during the years when many stayed home much more.

The Counselor Responds

When D received the call, she felt clear and happy. This advisor began,

“In a recent interview Neale Donald Walsch, author of Conversations with God[1], puts forth that in the nature of the universe all of us are inherently, unconditionally loved from birth. Therefore, none of us needs forgiveness because in divine eyes we have not committed any transgressions. We are seen as completely enough and ok already. The Abraham Hicks teachings and other spiritual works espouse harmonious viewpoints. We can live into that!

“You feel hesitant to respond. Do you wonder if your sister had wanted you to reach out to her more during this period? Are you thinking she could have tried harder to contact you? This sister endured almost a year of discomfort without telling you or consulting you for information on alternative healing?

Janice, you are already using these teachings. I sense you feel an impulse to go into fear based thinking, but you also have in your mind: Skip thoughts of guilt, of not being enough, of what you or she ‘should’ have done.

You are mastering tuning into how you are already loved and you need not defend yourself. In light of that, you can make it ok that this sibling may not want your views on politics, health or medicine. That fact need not be taken personally.

You love your sister deeply. Forfeit any other commentary. Go right for expressing that strong affection.”

Janice Breathes Relief

Immediately, Janice allowed the wisdom of what her friend was telling her. J responded, “Oh yes, yes I see.”

Daniella continued, “You can go immediately to accepting her as you find her now. Soothing her comes easily to you.

Expressing your compassion flows out from you effortlessly.

You do not owe her ( or anyone else) anything. No hooks on you!”

Janice paused in silence for a moment, absorbing the words. “That was so valuable! Thank you! I might have reviewed ‘But why didn’t she call me?’ for a spell, but no I won’t go there. What a relief to release of all the past hurts or possible recriminations! That was dense and I can digest it.”

Take Away

We can realize that what matters most is to express our appreciation, acceptance and understanding of one another. So many squabbles about some kind of proving ourselves, one upping, blaming, even placating – we can drop all of that.

Choose Love Over Guilt! We are already loved. Nothing to defend or prove.

Do you want to ask a question about what you read here? Do you have a tale of your success in using this principle that you are eager to share? Please comment! We are on the path to loving our lives more and more!

[1] Neale Donald Walsch, Conversations with God (Hampton Roads Publishing, Inc, 1995)

October 31, 2023
by Janet Pearlman
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Practice Self-Compassion

When we travel on the path of grow, we are encouraged to take stock of ourselves regularly and make course corrections. We want to notice our habits of thought and when necessary, shift toward ones that serve us more constructively.

In this process of unfolding, let’s place self-compassion front and center. Let’s appreciate where we are at any moment, even in those instances when we catch ourselves with an outdated perspective.

Sure, for the many of us who have habits of self judgement we can be tempted to criticize ourselves when we don’t “approve of” what we find. In this post we illustrate some possible steps to new behavior finding kindness for ourselves, self-compassion. As a result we are able to create change more effectively and experience more joy on the journey.

Heather feels Distress

Heather wanted to get some advice from a spiritually attuned wise friend who had helped her in the past. H began, “I have been crying. I feel very upset. I realize I have been inauthentic to Craig (this man I’ve been seeing). I wanted him to visit for longer and more frequently. In a light way I asked him if he was running home to his girlfriend.

Oh Gosh. I am so bad. I really don’t want him to have a woman other than me!”

Heather felt distraught, so ashamed of her behavior. The wise guide shared a perspective from the work Good Morning, I love You by Shauna Shapiro. In that work Shapiro points out the chemical effect in our beings when we trigger shame. “When we feel shame the amygdala, the part of our brain that is central to memory, decision making and emotional responses, triggers a cascade of norepinephrine and cortisol chemicals that increase our stress level, narrow our perspectives n perceived ‘threats’ and inhibit our cognitive flexibility. Shame puts in the fight, flight or freeze survival response, thereby inhibiting the learning center of the brain… If we want to learn from our mistakes, we need a compassionate mind set, not shame. “[1]

Advice from a Wise Counselor

What could Heather say to herself that would be more constructive? Her trusted companion responded,

“First let’s understand why the dear one inside behaved that way. You meant to respect Craig. You did not want to demand too much from him or crowd him. We can see you were feeling your way to interest him, maintain the connection and the flow.

In this processing, you now discern your own inner desires. You do want more from him—exclusivity, a bit more commitment and closeness, perhaps more frequent visits. Isn’t that good to know that is what you desire! You have more clarity about what you want, always a good thing!

You have a bright future! When you feel ready, you can share with him that which you have learned about what you want at a deeper level. You can accept yourself as you enjoy this companion. It’s ok to know you want something more committed. Will he be turned off when you inform him that you want that? We don’t know until we ask. You can choose what you ask and when.

You can support yourself as you prepare yourself to share more of your heart. You are worthy of your own love for yourself right now.”

Did this piece offer some insight? Do you have a story about self-compassion to share? Please comment! We love empowering one another.

[1] Shauna Shapiro, Good Morning, I Love You, (Boulder, CO, Sounds True, 2020) p. 79

October 24, 2023
by Janet Pearlman
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Magic of Focusing on Good

We have all enjoyed moments of going with the flow and experienced things working out well for us. Herein the author shares some incidents that went amazingly well. Unexpected pleasure popped! Perhaps this article will inspire readers to experiment with more time spent appreciating their lives.

Tale #1

Darcy inherited a large mum plant that had to be moved from another’s garden. D already owned a mum with a similar flower, a gift from a neighbor. On D’s walks she looked at the yard of this generous donor and wanted to ask her the flower’s name.

Next day our star sat with a friend in a nearby park and to her surprise, Darcy spies that neighbor on the path approaching her bench.

“Hi. Yes, I am that one who walks by your house. What was the name of that mum you offered me. It just started blooming.”

She responded, “Oh yes good to see you. Sheffield Pink”

Up to then Darcy had never seen the neighbor other than standing in the neighbor’s drieveway!

Pretty cool—she just showed up to walk right by me!

Tale # 2

On vacation Caterina wanted to enjoy the Indian buffet at a certain restaurant. That weekend in a distant state she was visiting a friend who had an emergency call her away for a couple of hours and the chance for that eating outing was lost.

Later that trip, a different friend wanted to meet for lunch and she recommended that same restaurant. No buffet per se but that person told Caterina about the veggie thali plate on the menu. With that our heroine got small portions of six dishes! C found it yummy and it felt a bit like the variety of a buffet. Quite fun! The star got some of her wish!

Tale #3

One loving friend offered to pray for Leslie on her long drive to New England and back. Leslie accepted gratefully and focused on packing, plans, driving etc to go north.

Leslie’s sojourn involved 25 hours of driving (two days up and two days back). On the trip L experienced only 15 minutes of traffic delay over all those hours. Pretty astonishing result of prayer!

Tale #4

Alexandra went to use her electronic mouse after transferring her laptop from the living room to the desk. Oh dear A noticed the device did not work.

Uh oh! Our star felt a tension beginning. Wait! What is happening here. Pause

Then A looked back down at the device—only to discover the mouse was turned backwards, facing the wrong direction. Duh—it does not work that way. It DID work when properly oriented. Take Away: always good to look again while remaining mostly calm. 😊

Do you have some good news go with the flow accounts to share? Please comment and inspire us!

October 17, 2023
by Janet Pearlman
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Give the Benefit of the Doubt

We are all under so much stress these days. Isn’t it easy to find ourselves frustrated with the behavior of others? “They should not behave that way,” so easily pops into our minds and perhaps out of our mouths. Let’s practice offering the benefit of the doubt to ourselves and others.

So many of us were judged a lot in our lives—as children and then continuing to our schools and jobs. In fact, we might have noticed that we hear the judging voices in our heads about ourselves. Aha! That might just explain why we formulate negative thinking about another. We see outside ourselves what we are experiencing inside. Oh my!

We become aware of this phenomenon and shift. Let’s catch this habit and experiment with different behavior What if we saw the innocent person doing the best he or she can? What if we gave the benefit of the doubt?

Please try it. Right away we will observe that we feel better doing that. Especially note how this feels when applied to our own dear self.

Seeing Innocence, the Goodness. Seeing as Inner Being sees.

One Woman’s Offering a Kind View

Picture this scene: two sisters with grown children, Patricia and Maddy. Patricia has a lake house. She invites Maddy, the protagonist for this account.

Maddy wants to include her children. Patricia nixes that idea—Maddy’s son who has had a drug problem is not invited. Patricia’s young grandchildren will attend, and P fears the influence of the nephew with substance abuse issues.

Feeling hurt and reactive, Maddy jumps to the defense of her son and pushes back.

The phone call does not go well after that. Maddy gets upset as does Patricia.

Let’s look at what Maddy does to recover

Soothing Herself

Our heroine Maddy realized she was feeling out of balance. Our star M wanted some calm and soothing, harmony with her sister and relaxed about her son.

Inside herself, this dear woman recognized that her defense of her son was a reaction: In that moment M felt hurt at her sister “rejecting” her son.

M calmed herself and saw the kindness in the invitation. Dear M owned how sensitive she felt to any pushing away of her son and his past behavior. Ok Maddy could see why she was upset.

What about Patricia’s point of view? “Oh,” realized M, “Pat feels protective of her grandchildren and wants to honor wishes of her son, father of these grandchildren. That father is afraid of drug abuse and as a result afraid of Maddy’s son’s influence. I can walk a bit in those shoes. I can understand that reaction.”

Our heroine shifted her thoughts about her sister to more supportive and compassionate ones. M forgave herself for her reaction too. Then this dear woman felt better!

Then for that moment Maddy let it go and went on with other things in life.

Recovery

A few days later, feeling more balanced, the recovered sister was ready to take action. Maddy crafted a note of apology to her sister. By expressing her love our heroine felt much relief.

Changing our own thought helps US feel better. M did not look to P to apologize or take action, Maddy used her own personal power to shift from a judging and hostile posture to an accepting one. We can all do that.

Do you have examples of good things flowing from seeing the best in yourself or another? I would love to hear them. Please comment.

October 11, 2023
by Janet Pearlman
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Our Thoughts Shape Our Experience

Our minds shape how we feel and what we experience. To some extent Loretta knows this. In today’s story she experiences a stunning realization of her power as one of her assumptions proves entirely false.

To start

About a week ago during an online class her teacher briefly scolded Loretta. In the seconds after it happened L knew that teacher was not pleased with her about some note she had taken during class.

During the following interval, L mostly forgot about it and had a rich week with lots happening, many good events to enjoy.

The Week Passed

The time for the class came around again. L wondered whether she now would be confronted with her “wrongdoing” and would be put in a position to defend herself, be shamed or more. She wanted to stay calm but admittedly she felt a bit frightened. For a couple of minutes our star delayed joining the group. Then with one minute to go she took the starting steps.

Ominously as the leader admitted participants, the teacher told L that she wanted to talk with her after class. That meant Loretta would now wait until after the class to have this “talk.”

Therefore, for about an hour and fifteen minutes our heroine anticipated hearing what the convenor would have to say. This dear woman performed the poses and, in the process, felt more and more relaxed. Yes, the protagonist felt a reaction to imagined accusations– but L pulled out of worry and fear.

Instead using her experience and power, L reached in her mind for what she has been wanting to accomplish, how well she has been performing, how much she contributes. Loretta felt more calm and lighter.

The Conversation

At last it was time for this exchange, Drum roll. The teacher began …

Wait a minute! As our star listened , she heard this leader asking her if she would help care for the planters in front of the studio building. L was not at all threatened by this topic. Plant care.

Realization

For Heaven’s sake, L had been so tense about an imagined confrontation. L had made up a scary story in her mind. Wow L now realized her internal invention and now faced that nothing like it was actually happening.

Also, Loretta had facilitated herself to release most of the fear about this “talk” and had gotten calmer and more balanced.

Wow what a lesson! The whole “drama” was entirely fabricated—a figment of her mind! She had gotten shaken and then relieved—and all because of what she told herself in her head! We can notice when we start to create a drama and then soothe ourselves before our fear and worry kick in. Maybe you have already started to do this.

Do you have stories of how afraid you got of something and the basis of the fear was totally false? A tale of how you invented “trouble” there was none at all in real life.

A bad fairy tale but the rescue was tuning to Source Energy and knowing there was protection and all was well. Phew!

October 4, 2023
by Janet Pearlman
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The Dying Inspire

A woman who was approaching death spoke to her congregation of like minded souls. Those in attendance gather to listen where talks about the Forces of Good are given weekly. This speaker talked about her approaching death and some of the insights she was having as her process unfolded.

Some Key Messages from the Speech

The dying one said, “I am letting go of my habit to judge myself and others. I release holding myself apart, of concern of what others might think of me.”

“Instead, I now welcome in more closeness with those I know. With them, I open my heart to them and I receive their love for me. Imagine that! I feel their respect and affection. I feel connected more than ever to the Forces of Good and to my circle of friends.”

After listening to this presentation, Claudine huddled with a fellow participant, one devoted to integrating the Forces of Good. Claudine enthusiastically shared, “In that first section of meditation, I received an important insight. I have so many things I want to do with my life. Up till arriving here today I have continued to wonder if I have that long to live. I might die fairly soon. Now I came to know that my time for dying is not soon at all. In fact, it’s many years away.

With all these things I want to do, still I tend to change my mind, not start any project, procrastinate. I have that problem.”

Soothing Response

The more practiced friend responded,

“You are fine right now. The culture around you may judge that you ‘should’ get more done. Some may say you ‘should’ get some of those projects underway. In my view you are forgiven all that—in fact let’s celebrate who you already are!
Isn’t it great that you feel more confident now of your bright future! You have a good chunk of time ahead to play with some new activities! Great to feel you have plenty of time.
Let’s say again. You can let go of the sense that you need to be ‘constructive’ in your time after retirement. You can relax into what you feel like doing right now in this moment.
How astonishing to realize that you could go take a nap and that is part of letting go!
What a surprising thought that you can make what you feel like doing right now acceptable—whatever it is.
As we let go, we are connected to the Forces of Good which guide us. Our intuition is leading and we can trust it.
In my view this represents an important teaching of what was shared in the lecture.

Claudine kept having fun and continued to enjoy her morning. In that now moment she was enjoying her realizations and the fellowship.

As we embody the Forces of Good more and more, we all grow stronger in our ability to discern an inner voice that judges us and our strength to embrace our nature, our spaciousness of being.

Do you have an account you want to share? Please comment. We relish growing together!

September 27, 2023
by Janet Pearlman
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New Responses to Criticisms

We can get upset by someone hurling criticisms at us. Who wants accusations and negative qualities attributed to us! No one!

How do we react to such experiences? And how would we prefer we respond? Let’s become of aware of our thoughts and choose what we desire.

“You have anger problems,” she screamed at the teacher. “You are obsessed with defending yourself.”

Carmella’s Tale

New classes are beginning for Carmella, the teacher. Recently a student in one of her classes quit. This person did not merely walk out: She hurled some mean-spirited comments on the way.

Inside Carmella, those statements hurt. Then C felt annoyed with herself that she would let that kind of thing bother her.

Our star called a wise advisor for support.

The Advice

Carmella: Why do I care what that student thinks of me?

As I processed the incident, I began to worry about my career. I started feeling overwhelmed and that I never get enough done. I feel miserable!

Counselor: First of all, I recommend that we be kind to our dear selves. We all feel uncomfortable when someone points out unwanted qualities about us! Isn’t it quite human to have some reaction. Let’s accept that. Let’s make that ok.

Yes, you have been working on shifting some outdated patterns of thinking, one’s like blaming. One good thing worth noting: in this instance you did not start to call her names! You mastered yourself and did not blame her.

“Why do I care what that student thinks about me?” thought you. Isn’t it great that immediately you realized you did not take her word as being true about you! You would rather feel balanced. That is a step toward higher consciousness, a positive aspect.

In this story, someone blamed you and then you blamed yourself for getting triggered. Since we know most humans would feel some reaction, let’s make it ok that you felt your response. Let’s ACCEPT this human process.

Carmella: I can get lost in the habit of self-blame and in feeling overwhelmed.

Counselor: Yes, those are well entrenched habits of thought. And you are already on your way to shifting them. Good for you that you persist. Good for you that you already see progress in noticing you are running a pattern.

Take Away

Let’s ACCEPT that this is what the process of changing thoughts looks like. We do them, and then we notice them more. Then we acquire ability to make a change. Bit by bit.

Such an important milestone to shift from self-blaming to self-accepting. We can say “Uh oh I am doing that again. Isn’t it great that this time I am noticing!”

Simple on one hand, yes. And simple first steps are like planting an acorn. Innocuous seeming action—and wow what magnificent oak of a being we are growing!

Do you have a story to share? Please comment! We all benefit.

September 19, 2023
by Janet Pearlman
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Turning Towards Empowerment

What a bold step we can make when we awaken to what new thoughts we can think, what more we can do for ourselves!

Raya saw clients to assist them in making courageous, empowering changes. Recently a woman named Denise contacted her expressing her desire for Raya’s help.

Denise told of grown children frequently asking her for assistance, requests she found draining and could not easily grant. Her partner was interacting with her with curses, statements of disrespect, wanting more attention from her and more requests from him granted by her. Denise felt overwhelmed. What advice could Raya offer?

To begin Raya wanted D to understand that R could assist another in finding her own power. R was not a match to a client who wanted to complain without starting to help herself.

Immediately, Denise indicated she intended to help herself: she had come for just what R could offer.

Here are some key points that Raya laid out for Denise:

Raya said,

“I recommend you become stronger in supporting yourself. You want to build self-love and wield the balance, calm and wisdom to handle the people in your life.

Some tools:

“If you don’t already do this (Denise did), take quiet time each day. The goal is to connect yourself with divine intelligence—do you call it Higher Power, God, Source Energy?—no matter the terminology. Breathe and become aligned. Do you like the words ‘Align with Pure Love’ (Denise did.)”

“In that session take time to appreciate yourself. Maybe make written lists. Then create a roster of what you appreciate in your partner. Fill your mind with his positive attributes.

Continue with a roster of what you are appreciating in your life. For what are you grateful right now?”

Raya brought up the topic of how shamed Denise might be feeling with all the words her partner had been hurling her way.

“I suspect that the invective triggered shame responses in you. First thing to say, those mean words are not true about you. The stronger you become, the more you will easily know those shaming thoughts are not true now and never have been!”

“As you are growing, surely you may have times when you react to language like that, when you feel the response of shame, of feeling awful. On the path you will begin to have more awareness. ‘Wait a minute,’ you will say to yourself, ’That stuff is hokum! I am not that! And never was!’ “

“As you proceed, I recommend you keep a record of what audio tracks lift you, what words are particularly comforting. Maybe there are some quotations that serve you, other sustenance. Become more skilled at soothing yourself.”

“Keep lists of all the Good you see in Yourself!”

“You are learning to become master of yourself. You are growing in strength and self-support. Here you are launching a new and exciting chapter of your life! So much more to come!”

At the end of the session Raya asked Denise if she had gotten some of the assistance she came for. “Absolutely,” cried Denise. “I feel so much better. As I go, I intend to put these suggestions to use right away. Thank you so much. I will see you next week!”

Do you have a report of your own process of growth to share? We do assist one another in telling the stories of our own empowerment!