Janet Pearlman

Living in the Stream of Yes

Focus on Love


We benefit when we focus on what we really want. When we feel hurt, we know we don’t want more of that.  Following this path we know we want to turn attention to something that feels better. Letting go of resentments and wounded feelings pays off big time! Let’s go for relief, greater clarity and more love. Here is an example of releasing the “I was wronged”  by turning focus onto the “Love I do want”.

Clarice had been practicing more and more attunement to her feelings

Pink Hailing, 9 x 12, $95

Pink Hailing, 9 x 12, $95

and thoughts. Meditation assisted her in staying alert to what she could appreciate inside and out.

The Hurt

About a year ago Clarice was visiting family.  After two activity packed days, a relation named Margo spoke critically to our star. Not surprisingly, C got very upset.

What had happened? Margo had shown C pictures of her craft planned for an exhibit. C felt very tired at that point in the weekend. At its conclusion, M exclaimed, “You were silent as I scrolled through the slide show! Do you know you do that? You always are quiet! I feel hurt that you don’t comment! The subject matter may not be your favorite, but appreciate something about them! I am never showing you one of my pieces again!”

Our heroine was stunned and horrified. Actually she admires M’s creative expression. Clarice had no idea that she had been that quiet, that her fatigue would be interpreted as disinterest, nor that the artist’s feelings would be hurt.

Immediately, C apologized but in that moment Margo remained offended.

Healing Begins

Next morning Clarice and Margo were able to speak about M’s art. Our star offered praise and validation, and M seemed able to accept it.

While M felt better, our dear protagonist continued to lick her wound of the harsh words. She reviewed what did not feel good.

Soon C cried, “Wait a minute! Look at me recounting a time that brings up anger and revenge in me. I don’t want to do this! Since I don’t want more of that, instead, let me review the loving moments I want.”

Practice the Healing Attitude

As the months passed, Clarice realized she felt some residual hurt. She did appreciate Margo. That woman had enriched her life. M is a loving person, a great planner, talented photographer, good cook, adventurous, intelligent, and more.

Tuning in, this dear heart knew it was her own past hurts in her way. She had disconnected herself from the goodness and love she craved.

Time passed.

Oh my! The time to visit these folks again was coming near. C knew that she created her experience, and she sincerely wanted to create a loving and fun filled visit this year.

Continued Inner Work

One morning in her quiet time a piece of guidance from a respected spiritual teacher jumped out. Clarice heard, “With regard to relationships it matters only how you feel about the other. What they feel about you is not your business.” Hmm.

For over a year our Dear One had listened to the meditation in which this thought was expressed. Suddenly, it was like the heavens of comprehension opened. She understood, “Oh. If I want love, I have to ‘just’ love. Period. end of discussion.”

Our star had been feeling resentful, not respected, not desirable. If she hangs out with that vibration, she makes more of that. No, no! She wanted more affection.

In that moment C was able to viscerally drop the hurt that had been plaguing her for many months. She began focusing on what she loved about Margo.

Now, she could envision this friend and feel good in those enjoyable qualities.

The Visit Arrived

Clarice paid a return visit to that family. Her wonderful weekend was filled with water sports, good food, movies and more.

Soon C was bidding farewell to her dear ones. She opened her arms to hug her hostess goodbye. Sweetly, Margo whispered in her ear, “I love you.” Such a tender and genuine offering!  Wow those words were exactly what C wanted. How soothing from the pain of last year! What an unexpected gift!

 Take Away

We have the power to heal past hurts!

When we feel resentment, we know we can shift our focus. Wiser to recall how deeply we love others and ourselves right now.

Let’s shift the perception of “grievance” to knowing all parties want love. Nothing is going wrong, All is well.

And, importantly, healing ourselves, creating a vibration of love, brings us unexpected special treats!

Do you find value in this story? Please comment and share your reaction. Together we uplift and grow!











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