Our experience arises from how we perceive what is going on around us. Can we awake to what we “see” hurts us? This post constitutes another entry into “What story do I tell myself?” Isn’t it powerful to notice when we are telling a tale that does not feel good? Fruitful journey of discovery!
Lavinia discovered that a man she has been dating put up a profile on a dating site. She thought to herself, “Well, I’m glad to have the
information.” At first, she did not realize how hurt and disappointed she felt seeing that posting. With that frame of mind, she had assumed that when a man adds himself on a dating site this clearly means that he wants another woman, and he has rejected her.
The term “Information” makes it sound like she was cool in her reaction. Instead we viewers can discern L had filtered what she had learned, and inside her she felt upset and had lost her balance. Definitely she did not feel good.
Our heroine was active in her growth: she did become curious about what pictures she created in her mind. As humans we filter what we see, what we perceive. What past experiences was she loading into this reaction? Her emotions are the indicator.
If we notice discomfort in what we observe, that is the flag to tell us to review what we just “saw”. What do we tell ourselves about this?
Lavinia got calmer. She rested and played. Coming back to this topic, she daydreamed about what could be going on for her male friend. Hmmm
“Well,” L thought, “he doesn’t have much time to date because he has an intense job, a creative life, grown children, household chores and more. He is confused about what he wants. He feels impatient with getting to know another– just wants to get to the closeness and skip all this other stuff :). This dear soul might feel afraid and wants to avoid facing parts of himself. He is full of his own emotion and did not intend to reject her.”
With this account, our star soothed herself: it was so much less personal with less sting. Telling it this was Lavinia does not feel rejected. Offering compassion in this report she felt better.
What story do we tell ourselves? We proceed with alertness during our day to how we feel as events unfold. Can I see more Good in both myself and others? Can I cut more slack for both of us? Lavinia opened herself to perceive an action from a busy, confused and good man . It felt worlds better :).
Take away for readers:
We can pay more attention to the subtlety of our emotions.
If we feel “off” or worse, we can look more closely what we perceive? What story are we creating about what just happened?
Is there an opportunity to give the benefit of the doubt or to look for something to appreciate? Can weI refocus our lens on some bit to enjoy? Can we shift that initial perception, even a little?
Do you have some stories of how you changed your view of events and then felt better? Please comment to share them. With every reframe we are progressing and contributing to All That Is! Hee Ha
About the Author
Janet Pearlman is a spiritual teacher, counselor, healer and artist. She has a gift for inspiring others to know themselves compassionately and to develop skills of empowerment. In her forty-three-year journey of self-discovery, she has deeply studied the teachings of Abraham-Hicks, Ernest Holmes and more. Janet offers individual sessions by phone and in person. Please contact her at email@example.com to arrange an appointment.