Janet Pearlman

Living in the Stream of Yes

Wanting Praise


We love to receive praise from our loved ones, our bosses, our professional societies and more. Gosh that feels good, that recognition. What power do we wield when we offer it to ourselves?

Please Read this Story

Sally enjoyed a good relationship with her brother, Roy. They could enjoy passionate discussions involving their spirituality, inner struggles and discoveries. Sally was older and had been earnest in her pursuit of growth over many years and sometimes she was able to provide useful leadership.

Roy’s daily practice involved thinking and writing for an hour every morning. He admitted on occasion he felt unhappy in his life and at times felt discouraged in his progress.

Emerging Selves, 16 x 20, $475

In their conversation much of the time, Sally listened to Roy’s awareness and often frustrations. Sometimes she shared some of her insights. As the years went by, she realized that Roy felt badly about a number of aspects of himself. His notes were peppered with some criticisms of his dear self. Also he did not share a commitment to noticing his thoughts and realizing his creative power with them. To stay in harmony with him, she focused herself on primarily listening and appreciating the parts that felt good for him and that he could appreciate. She could cheer him on when he saw progress.

On her path unfolding, Sally became awake to how much she longed for her brother’s belief in her. He stayed kindly for sure, and mostly reported his story.  He was less interested in her approaches, tips and setbacks.

What did she do?

She turned into herself. Those spiritual leaders she followed recommend putting primary focus on each of our connection with Source Energy, with tuning into our own Divine Spark, our own inner guidance. They recommend self-appreciation and knowing more and more our own value. True enough, receiving primarily in that way become more and more satisfying.

Over many years Sally chose more and more to look to her own divinity for validation of her value. Our heroine felt better and better about herself. She accepted and appreciated Roy on his path. S took responsibility for her own self esteem. And, she had an insight one day that a person such a Roy, who did not love himself could not love her. “Oh it’s nothing personal,” said our dear protagonist, “It has not one thing to do with me.”

At the end of 2021 the Roy family sends a box of offered treasures to S the sister. Included was a holiday card with a note. Roy wrote about 10 appreciations of his dear sibling this year. Sally read the missive and wept. This brother now articulated many positive attributes and things Sally had longed to hear for years.

Soon afterwards he wrote about his reaction to a spiritual book she’d sent as a gift R explained with enthusiasm that he had had a break through. He realized the preeminence of each moment and he can see the beauty there. And that’s all he has to do.

Yes Sally wanted to be told from an outside other that she is precious, loveable and with enormous value. And she had the power to let this love in all with her own Source Connection.

When her brother felt his own value, he could then honor it in her.

Take Away:

Allow our own dear self to feel the outpouring of love from Source Connection.

Love the others wherever they are in their process of unfolding.

Comments or Questions? Stories of Fostering Self Love? The author welcomes your input.

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