Every human has experienced strong emotion. Why write a post about making it ok? Some of us have been practicing feeling as good as we can as much as we can. We want to spend more and more time in balance and feeling good. We don’t want to feel upset coursing through us and sometimes it does. Many of us have the habit of judging ourselves when we notice we are off track. Let’s build a strong habit of making the human process of growing ok.
Mary Frances attended a class every week. Early in the class on this fateful week, the leader asked attendees some questions that MF found personal and controversial. Then one of her fellow students, made a gesture to indicate that woman judged MF’s response. Wow she felt a spike of anger and humiliation. Yowser! Our star rallied, kept her reaction to herself, and then participated in the class. Fortunately, the class involved dance and music, and she gave herself to the process. She reached for enjoyment and found it.
Some after effect lingered.
After the class she went out with a friend and they talked over dinner. MF let it slip that something was bothering her and the friend wanted to support her. MF had an impulse to avoid discussing it, and then flowing with momentum shared about what had happened.
The Laws of the Universe tell us that when we review what we don’t want we tend to get more of it—and the feelings attached to it flow. Mary Frances felt the strong upset again. Her companion listened and explained the points of view of the others in that class circle, finding those perspectives reasonable and that in his mind there was no need for her to feel upset.
Did you ever notice once fiery emotion is running, a rational perspective does not affect that state right away? Sure enough, MF experienced a moment of salt in the wound. In that state of mind, it felt like he was taking the side against her.
Breathe. Our heroine did reach for changing the subject and went on to discuss lighter topics. She felt disappointed in herself that she had touched on the matter at all—tempting to think “She should have known better.”
She felt it was a clumsy exchange and wished for herself to demonstrate greater powers of self-mastery, not to talk about a fresh reactive blip. Included in all that reactivity was self judgment. At first she did not notice that.
But wait! Feeling anger, humiliation and hurt do not define her! Oh yes, these are only emotions passing through. Our star woke to remembering: It is ok to be thrown off balance and regain our composure. Experiences like this are what fuels growth! In fact the path to greater empowerment resembles what happened to her!
“What a relief!” said this dear woman to herself, “I have been judging myself for this experience and I want to drop that now! This self judgement is just a habit of thought. Phew! Good to notice!”
On your unfolding path of evolution have you experienced an incident like this? Want to share your story? Please comment! Your experiences enlighten us all!