Janet Pearlman

Living in the Stream of Yes

Recovery in Romance


Some of us have experienced “break ups” of a romantic relationship when it was not our idea. We were still flowing along. Our habits of thought may lead to thoughts with anger, self-blame, shock, and likely discomfort. Even when it can feel very intense, we can learn some ways to wield our personal power and begin to feel better.

Read how one woman did her best to feel what’s there and then move toward an improved emotional state and recovery.

Lovers in Gray, 9 x 12, with Texture, SOLD


Corine was told that the fellow she had been dating was taking a break. Yes, she had gotten some vibes of his unhappiness so this was not a total shock. She recognized disappointment in her being. Wanting some soothing she called a woman friend. After speaking gently and kindly for a couple of minutes, she was ready to let the friend return to her evening. Before clicking off this friend said, “It’s his loss.” Aw that did feel good.

At first Corine went upstairs and let herself read a novel for a bit. Hey that felt like good distraction.

When wanting to recover, always good to nap or sleep for the night, a move that offers rest and reboot. “Things seem brighter in the morning” represents an adage often true.

Reclaim Buoyancy

Corine did feel some improvement.  Still she wanted to feel loved.

The Abraham teachings tell us that we are the ones who connect with Source Energy, and Source is what offers us the love we want. In fact, this is the only place to get it. Humans including romantic partners cannot always reliably deliver.

Our star went to her imagination and called up times she had felt loved. She loved basking in that feeling.

What continued to go well for her? What could she appreciate now? C got busy making some lists, spending a moment on each item to call up the feeling of that.

Wow this practice worked well for her and she flowed along keeping it up—what can she appreciate.

Along with that, this dear woman could layer that with some activity she enjoys: gardening, writing, a stroll in nature, listening to an audiobook laced with humor.

Our heroine was building momentum for a happy life now—with or without this person who chose to pull away.

Reaching for Next Steps

Corine invented a game she could play in her head. What characteristics of a next relationship or partner do I know I want? I want:

         “A more connected feeling”

         “To communicate more clarity on the “reach beyond lust” gestalt she wants to live.

         “To cultivate my ability to put forth unconditional love for another and for herself”

This piece was inspired by meeting a woman who was still reviewing the pain of her break up that had occurred more than two years earlier. We do want to feel the emotions that flow through us, not to stuff them away unprocessed.

And yes, as we feel so moved, we can use our personal power to soothe ourselves and return to experiencing some good feelings again.

Have some recovery stories to share? Please comment and tell us about it! Happiness is an inside job and we are learning to do just that.

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