Sometimes, others are displeased with us. Of course, we prefer those surrounding us, e.g. our parents or our bosses, to at least LIKE what we do (if not PRAISE us!). When we hear unhappy tones addressing us, we might feel the impulse to order “Shields up!” inside ourselves, and instead go toward some balance and openness.

And what a gift! A pay off from doing personal growth is that we do have access to new attitudes in times of stress, more neutral and clear insight. We enjoy more stamina in staying in a loving heart.

The Story

Sandy had a good friend, Nancy, who cooked and gardened for a local woman. This employer wanted more and more tasks done; Nancy determined she needed assistance with the gardening. The owner agreed.

Nancy told Sandy about the opportunity to work four hours a week; Sandy accepted.

On her second shift, Sandy took on the assignment to trim the irises. Our protagonist learned that irises like to have their leaves cut back after blooming. S received a few instructions and dove into the task.

Seventy-five minutes later, the owner views Sandy’s trimmed irises and was not at all satisfied. “Those irises look awful; they are messy.”

Soon Nancy finds Sandy to offer more detailed instructions and steer the job more to the owner’s specifications. N says, “Let’s change to scissors, shape the tops of the irises in a fan shape, take more time with each section. We want these trimmed irises to blend into this beautiful garden.”

Oh my. Sandy wants to stay balanced in the face of all this feedback. In her past our heroine would have taken these words personally—she had displeased the bosses.

In her inner development S had learned how to soothe herself under criticism. For heaven’s sake she had awakened this morning knowing nothing about cutting back this type of plant. Further, this dear woman’s strong suit was not producing “neat” clipping of any kind.  S resonated with actions to encourage plant recovery and next year’s blooming.

As Sandy was receiving the “course correction,” she focused to  regain open-heartedness and to keep a sense of humor. (Aside: in her head, S joked “They put on her tombstone: She could not trim irises to magazine standards.”) Finishing her shift making improvements, she left exhausted and not clear about the repercussions of her performance.

Next day Nancy and Sandy met as friends. Nancy asked, “Want to talk about yesterday?” Sandy said, “I feel bad that you are in an awkward position with doing the cooking tasks and supervising me in the garden.”

Nancy responded, “I felt bad about how tired and sad you looked as you clocked out. I told the owner that this was on me—this was not your fault. I did not get out there to supervise sooner and in more specificity. The owner accepted that.”

Sandy felt a wave of relief and then wonder. Wow her friend has viewed her predicament and did not fault her at all. There was more Love here pouring down on Sandy than S had let in. Good to recognize this now. Going forward, S can raise her head higher and believe in the kindness surrounding her. Our star can know her loving mood matters and others share that attitude too.

Does reading this inspire a story in you? We would love to read it in the comments section. We enjoy being inspired.