Of course, all of us have experienced an incident that we found particularly upsetting. This post offers insight into how we might move through a reaction to recover sooner rather than later.
In those early moments of responding, we might go into the common pattern of reviewing “what went wrong.” Sure we want to learn what we can. Good to notice that this “study” involves thinking about what we do not want and going more deeply into it.
Uh oh, if we feel awful, and then review the awful, we get more awful! Oops. There is momentum created in our thought and emotional patterns… in this case toward discomfort. How to handle that?
Let’s make where we are ok. It’s really the wisest course. “But I am suffering!” we say to ourselves, feeling miserable. We can tune into the big picture of Life, breathe. This is temporary. When momentum of unwanted is rolling? Pushing against anything just makes more of it.
Instead, we can help ourselves by putting our mind on something or some activity we love to do.
One friend enjoys riding a horse. Another woman goes out to pull weeds from her garden. Others might take a run, watch tv, make a special dish in the kitchen. Infinite possibilities for having some fun.
As we distract ourselves and some time passes, we feel somewhat calmer.
As we feel some relief we set the stage for the story which follows:
Adelaide went through a medical procedure. AT home gazing at the wound, she flipped into a place that felt very scary. Her mind went off into serious fear.
What did she do?
Early on A wanted to dissipate the intense emotion by harmonizing her body’s energy. With Jin Shin Jyutsu ( https://streamofyes.com/jin-shin-jyutsu/) our heroine knew where to hold on her body to get some relief from fear. She grabbed her index finger with her other hand. After five minutes then She held the side of her neck on the left side with one hand and touched her left sit bone with the other. Adelaide maintained that position for about ten minutes ( felt better) , then another ten—A got some nice relief.
To soothe her mind further, our star launched into some appreciating.
Where did she focus? That dear woman:
- Listed people who care about her.
- Recalled the gratitude from some of the people she had coached
- Called up examples of the kindness others had offered her recently and years ago-whatever came to her at that sitting.
- Watched soothing programming on tv. (She likes movies with happy endings.)
Take Away Message
A human cannot go from feeling awful to radiant and delighted in one sweep. There will be some passage of time from agony to ecstasy. The “feeling bad” has some momentum. Honor it and give it some time to dissipate.
In our culture, it is common to deny the feeling and put a smile on your face. Instead, it is more effective to find the balance bit by bit and then move gradually back to ease. Offer yourself the gift of mindful transition. Flow with the momentum and allow recovery bit by bit.
Have some experience with this you would like to share? Please comment! Have a question? This author will respond 😊