Janet Pearlman

Living in the Stream of Yes

Healing Self Blame                    


So many of us blame ourselves in harsh and hurtful ways. Hey those statements are NOT TRUE. The inner attitude of shaming damages us further; it adds no value. Self Blame represents a habit of thought that many of us are changing now.

Learn how the change happens. Awaken to the bit by bit steps and the enormous progress it constitutes.

Below one story of releasing the grip of self blame bit by bit, getting to more ease.

The Incident

On April morning Lily backed her car into another vehicle parked askew in the driveway. Oh my! She had come out of the house feeling rushed and irritated. At impact this heroine flooded with panic and self blame. L wanted to handle this in balance and ease—soon it became clear that no she felt deeply upset.

This heroine notified the owner, exchanging information, etc. A neighbor said, “These things happen. It will be ok.” That wash of kindness over her felt really good, highlighted against her inner horror.

Later that morning at yoga class L’s friend shared how she had an embarrassing fender bender in her own driveway, the friend’s car hit the husband’s truck. Lily felt some relief as she got a glimpse of a bigger picture, one where she realized others on occasion experienced such blips as hers.

Aware of what her mind was doing our star noticed her mind kept reviewing the incident, hearing the crunch sound,blaming herself and calling herself stupid.

Lily took time to dissipate these strong emotions. The yoga helped.  The self-blame reaction did not stop immediately.

The book by Cherie Huber entitled There’s Nothing Wrong with You, brought a bit of soothing. This volume described how prevalent this running of self-hate is in our culture and how many easily feel fear. Lily found comfort in knowing her reaction was so much a part of a larger cultural habit of thought, so common to many.

Gratefully, Lily was able to picture Guardian Angels, Michael among them,  close by and touching her.  Through that lens she remained worthy and lovable. :)  By the evening of that first day she felt more accepting of herself.

On the second day after the accident L started to have fun again. Hey Lily became awake to the fact that she was the one creating such a painful reaction. “Hey,” L cried, “I can stop doing that!”  Reaching for connection to Unseen Good was working!

This protagonist saw, “Wow these self -judging thoughts are so active in me.  I want to run my life with a kinder, more compassionate attitude starting today.”

Two weeks later she was experiencing more calm and balance.  In those first hours, Lily had not pictured any good coming from this contrasting episode. Before too long, the gain in self-awareness produced very important insights that continue.

Hooray for the clarity to commit to more self love. How wonderful to dedicate herself to this! Perceiving what she can do feels marvelous. Knowing how much like other humans is she also soothes her.

Do you have a story of self- forgiveness to share?  How we let go of attitudes and recover makes powerful medicine to share. Please comment.

About the Author

Janet Pearlman is a spiritual teacher, counselor, healer and artist. In these posts composed of true stories, she inspires others to know themselves and compassionately to develop skills of empowerment. In her forty-five year journey of self-discovery, she has deeply studied the teachings of Abraham-Hicks, Ernest Holmes and more. Janet offers individual sessions by phone and in person. Please contact her at jpearl555@earthink.net to arrange an appointment.

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