Cloretta has been meeting prospect partners using the internet. Recently she explored a dating site that she rarely checked: that one sent her notice of a new member whom C checked out. That company required payment to send a custom message but allowed “hello” with canned sentences attached. She chose one that basically said “Cool profile, I am interested.”

Truth be told, she was not at all sure she would pay the fee required for a more substantial message. But, hooray the prospect had paid and sent her a longer custom note to which she responded. The two went back and forth a bit, both with sparked interest. Due to tight schedule this man suggested they put off meeting for three weeks.

Meeting day arrived and they enjoyed their meal and walk. Both wanted another meeting. In a week hence, they got together. Wow the two felt a spark, got a bit high and wanted more contact. She mentioned staying in touch between rendezvouses.

The Reaction

Cloretta went home and realized how high and disoriented she felt. Oh Golly what had seemed like excitement morphed into anxiety. Oh God, was this moving too fast? This dear person needed to focus on her regular life and chill a bit.

She did not mail the next day. She thought maybe he would write to thank her—oops!

No! After another day passed the fellow got in contact. Apparently yesterday this man had waned her to write him a long email and he expressed his disappointment.

Bang boom! Our heroine’s felt a giant hand on her trigger button—part anger, part disappointment, part shame. To her in that moment it seemed like a huge deal.

Our star thought:

“Does he think she was obligated to write immediately?  Hummph!

Was she supposed to keep him from disappointment?—Humph!

“Was he blaming her? She hated being blamed!

She wanted appreciation!”

Recovery

To get some help calming down C called a female confidante. After some sympathetic listening, C got the message that she was blowing things out of proportion a bit.  “Moi?” thought our star. She had not been at all aware of her level of tension and anxiety before she read his note.

Cloretta distracted herself with creative work. Some hours passed. She took a nature walk in beautiful weather, noticing shades of green and small wildflowers. In another 5 hours or so Cloretta settled down sufficiently to allow this new thinking to pop:

“Oh my, the dear man wanted to communicate that he welcomed my stories, was eager to stay in contact and become closer friends,” C pondered. “I had felt disoriented at the feelings arising in me and then became frightened of getting closer too quickly. Oh my.”

Summary

This fine woman awoke to how her tension had colored her read of the original email. She had felt nervous and insecure before she opened that missive. With some uplifting, she found more clarity and compassion.

Isn’t it to our advantage to notice how our negative feelings muddy our perception? How worthy an investment to become aware of our feelings! If negative, we often put the negative onto those outside ourselves.  Instead, let’s learn tools to see with a loving heart and feel better than ever!

Got a story to share of how you clarify your perspective? Questions? Please comment! We all want to connect with you. 😊

About the Author

Janet Pearlman is a spiritual teacher, counselor, healer and artist. She has a gift for inspiring others to know themselves compassionately and to develop skills of empowerment. In her forty-three-year journey of self-discovery, she has deeply studied the teachings of Abraham-Hicks, Ernest Holmes and more. Janet offers individual sessions by phone and in person. Please contact her at jpearl@streamofyes.com to arrange an appointment.