Janet Pearlman

Living in the Stream of Yes

Top Priority Self Care


Some of us may find ourselves pressured by family or friends who are asking us to do things for them that present us with difficulties. We may prefer keeping those around us happy, and sometimes two of them make requests that are opposite one another. What to do then? Here’s some guidelines that Bobbie May followed that proved valuable to her.


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Bobbie May had an invitation to a family meal from her dear sister. This person had suffered a recent trauma and B had been putting in extra effort to be supportive. Our star also had a husband. Under the circumstances in 2020 Bobbie’s partner wanted her to refrain from the family dinner. With societal conditions of this year focused at home, he felt too many people would attend the gathering and therefore, render it unsafe. This husband wanted to protect his wife.

Feeling Pressured

Bobbie May felt strong emotion. Wow she felt so much pressure. Over and over she reviewed her dilemma and with each round was becoming more agitated and upset. It came to her to contact a friend who is often able to go with the Flow and to align with Forces of Good. On a number of occasions this friend offered her some insight that was of assistance. Our heroine made the call.

The Guidance

The friend offered, “It sounds like the most important principle here is for you to get some relief from this pressure. Let’s see if we can help you feel better.

In my view your highest priority is for you to care for your dear self! In five years, will it matter whether or not you attended this one family dinner? No.

Let’s chat and make it ok to follow what YOU need.

I have heard about how helpful and attentive you have been with your sister over the last couple of months. You can feel so pleased you have been such a valuable ally.

Yes, we can understand that your husband wants diligently to keep you safe and yes, we perceive how frightened he can become with so much attention to the societal restrictions.

Can you see it matters so much less than you may have perceived which choice you make? Both will continue to love you whichever decision you make for these few hours of one day.

Imagine saying this to the sister: My husband really wants me to stay home this time. You can understand why I am inclined to follow his wishes regarding this meal. There are so many others to enjoy the day with you on this occasion. Honestly, I will enjoy the time of less activity and benefit from more rest.

Try out this to the husband: Honey, I want to at least make an appearance at this special holiday group. It is being held outside and I will wear a mask. You know I am very healthy and strong. And you know you will be fine whatever I do. I feel committed to supporting my sister and want to do this.”

The Resolution

The too talked for a good while. Bobby May listened, she cried a bit, and at the end she felt relief. Which choice she would make was not the center of the discussion. Instead, B realized she could empower herself to make a choice for her own well being and that this shift was the key. When they hung up, no decision was made.

A few days later, Bobby contacted her friend to thank her again for her soothing words. It had been just what she needed and she sailed through her holiday.

Let’s notice when the tension is building inside us. Most important is listening to our own precious heart and offering soothing to ourselves. Have an example from your life? Peace comment and share it with us! We uplift one another as we care for ourselves!

About the Author

Janet Pearlman is a spiritual teacher, counselor, healer and artist. In these posts composed of true stories, she inspires others to know themselves and compassionately to develop skills of empowerment. In her forty-five year journey of self-discovery, she has deeply studied the teachings of Abraham-Hicks, Ernest Holmes and more. Janet offers individual sessions by phone and in person. Please contact her at jpearl555@earthink.net to arrange an appointment.

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