Have you heard that loving yourself is very important? Golly Gee learning how to love ourselves can be less than obvious or easy to accomplish. Perhaps these illustrations would give you some ideas for what it can look like and how to go after it:
Loretta had spent much of her life stepping up to responsibility, arranging events for family and friends, following through on the plans made. In her dating life a situation arose where a new man offered to do her a kindness. She scheduled this “favor” as part of a day where he would take her out to dinner. When the day arrived, she realized she felt depressed at the prospect at what his gift entailed– two hours of driving on a sunny day when it had rained for three weeks, a process that was a strain and more.
Arising in her was an inner NO. Early on the appointed day our heroine realized this was too much burden for her. It did not feel like fun even though this was supposed to be assistance for her. Sure, she had voices that she had to follow through on what she had originally requested. Instead, she had access to the quiet inner voice of self love: Our L called the man and changed the arrangements, threw off the feeling of weight, returned to the fun of their date and connection. Ease flowed; they had fun; lovely time. Making that phone call, making what felt good her top priority, was an act of self love.
Marlene had a wonderful guiding figure, Hattie, who resided a six hour drive in New York City. Hattie and M loved to visit. Discussing a visit, Hattie made it clear that she could not put Marlene up in her studio apartment in Greenwich Village. With sweetness Hattie explained that allowing friends or relatives was too exhausting and required serious amounts of recovery time. Overnight accommodations was unhealthy for her to offer. This woman was modeling self love.
In her thirties Doris attended a major growth training, one of those big ones where they use a hotel ballroom. By the end of the sessions, Doris realized she needed to come off coffee. Facing that inner guidance, this dear woman developed a process of gradual withdrawal. D told no one and took three years reducing the amounts she drank, doing inner work as she observed her attitude and the effect of this brew. For example, she loved being part of the office crowd who drank it, used it as a self reward, noticed its effects on digestion, nerves and more. After three years Doris could easily walk by urns of free, delicious coffee at conferences. Sticking to that focus for as long as it took constitutes one example of self love.
A man who has completed law school decides that he really does not enjoy the law after all. He seeks out other ways to employ himself that make him happier.
Cally fell in love with man who lived half way down the east coast from where she had lived all her life. Her mother liked her living close by so she could get her support. Though she had been a dutiful daughter for many years, Cally did leave her job, sold her house and moved toward a loving man and a new future. That was self love too.
More expressions of self love include:
- an exercise program
- eating in healthy ways
- getting plenty of sleep
- making a phone call to get support
- going shopping for some treat
- having a pet for companionship
What are some of your examples? In what ways do you express the love for your dear self? Do you have some questions about the topic? Please comment. So easy to beam love in this world when basking in self love!