Many of us on the growth path want to grow in self-loving. Some offer, “This is the hardest realm of all.” How the heck do you do it? The habits of self-shaming seem so strong.
We can do it! Allowing the change to progress bit by bit. We decide we will shift.
How to start? Isn’t it great when we begin to notice all of a sudden, we feel quite poorly! Yes really, we start to recognize that some incident has triggered the shaming habit.
Of great assistance is feeling good more and more. More commenting on what is going well. More taking stock of the many “coincidences” that work well for you.
We get more experience of feeling good about ourselves. Positive in itself and then – wow—we can more easily perceive that we just fell in a shamed rut.
Isn’t it great to let go of habituated responses bit by bit!
Our reactions show us what is going on inside ourselves—point out that inner material we might call “unconscious.”
Therefore, when we react it is not “bad” – not at all.
Gradually we awaken to when our shame is aroused. So good to allow ourselves the deep knowing – we are completely ok right now. The shine of our beings remains strong as we clear outdated mental hygiene.
We are enriched and grow as we notice, shift, and let go again. Not victims of our acculturation, we return to opening to the bounty and beauty of what power we do wield over ourselves.
Illuminating the Point
Carla asked a friend to come assist her with her storage unit. With cunning this smart gal had chosen her assistant carefully. This man knew she had stored things for many years and did not offer commentary. She accepted his organizing know how and physical strength and proceeded.
Because she had been criticized harshly in her past for both accumulating her “treasures” and not sorting and discarding enough, she could handle the focus on this task for a chunk of hours and then needed rest.
On her journey of growth Carla got a vision of what she wanted for herself regarding these valued keepsakes and household materials. She wanted ease, self acceptance and strength.
In her imagination, C decided to support herself in a way she had not yet experienced. Largely she was the one who put herself through college, got her first car and apartment and found her own way. She got scholarships, worked and figured out her budget.
With regard to this storage unit, our heroine decided that she would give herself the space to have these things just as long as she wanted to own them. In that decision she took any pressure off herself: she declared she would not be shamed for a slower release process than some have.
Further, in all areas of her life, this star practiced appreciating her life throughout her day, thereby building both her self esteem and health. David Perlmutter author of many books on health and longevity says the most important focus for health is gratitude. Wow persisting in this positive perception produced major pay off. Carla’s shaming reactions in many topics melted away to a rare reaction. 😊
Did you get some window into how to proceed to love yourself? Please feel free to ask a question in the comments. If you have a story of how you are approaching it, we all want to hear it.
We recover our freedom together!
[JP1]aki