Years ago in a six month period I separated from my life partner, and two people who had loved and guided me in the first half of my life transitioned. When the second guiding figure passed, I saw a stack of dishes in my mind start to lean and topple. It came to me that I needed some help. In response, I decided to use a self help grief recovery manual which called for two individuals to set up a series of meetings when each would take a turn following certain questions/processes. There were also instructions for the one in the supporting role.
During one of those meeting when it was my turn to “recover”, an image came to me– a rappelling line was anchored with Source Energy– I held onto the line and descended into “the stuff”, the grief. I would feel into it and then be assisted up and out of that “hole” when I gave the word. I could feel what was there in safety and security. It served as a powerful visualization of being connected, cared for, protected. That rope connection in my mind offered me strength. There is no knife, blade or other tool that cut sever my line! Really cool to know and feel into. Yes!
Lately I have processed a situation I found quite unsettling, one where fear and shame were triggered over a period of weeks. As I am writing this blog post, I realize that in my review of what has been happening I had spent some time going over the depth of the feeling, its momentum and as a result, I did not feel good. I did not want to write about that! Earlier in my day I received assistance from reading Ernest Holmes– in essence– we are only Good. Really? I think I had forgotten that.
In penning this piece I started to describe what I had done throughout these weeks to feel better. Wow putting my focus there is so transforming! Hey why not take my own advice and focus on what uplifts me!
Here are some of what I thought and did. I____:
- Appreciated even more than usual. Potent for me– visualizing people who I can easily know love and respect me. I take time with a love list and separately do a respect list. it brings up nuances of difference that are pleasurable.
- Played a little poem in my head frequently. ( It popped in as though a gift) I had adjusted the words to suit myself:
I need not fret, nor fear nor plan
I’m wanted where and as I am
And if I be relaxed and free
I’ll know the Good that flows through me.
- Basked in the assistance that was offered to me. A friend who came up to help decide which clothes to discard, the generous and strong souls who showed up with trucks to move stuff.
- Attracted a talk with a close friend who reminded me how I was moving forward processing these long held and deeply felt emotions. When we let them surface and feel into them, we have a chance to heal them in present time. In the safety of her loving attention, I was able to release and get relief. That sense of being so cared for made the letting go possible. How fortunate am I!
- Used Jin Shin Jyutsu both self help and getting a session to facilitate a shift in my energetic field, my vibration. This constitutes a huge help. If interested, please read about Jin Shin Jyutsu on my website. If you want to give it a try, search for articles in the blog.
- Bought myself a session in Feldenkrais which also released stresses from my body, mind and spirit. Heaven sent!
- Countered shame thinking with thoughts like these:
I am wholly Good. I am constituted only of Good.
In light of the stuff uncovered, those uncomfortable feelings, I have been and always will be good.
I have done my best.
I feel so much better after creating this blog entry.
Did you find this post of value? Do you want to offer a story of yours of how you recovered from uncomfortable emotions? Please write to email@example.com. You are awesome and good!