Janet Pearlman

Living in the Stream of Yes

Self Love Made Clearer


Close to Mint Spring, 24 x 30, $525

Close to Mint Spring, 24 x 30, $525

Who would not want to love themselves? We certainly intend to do so.

Yet do we feel like our daily actions show us that affection? In making choices for purchases, spending time, and more, some personalities seem to put children, spouses, parents, friends before themselves.

We want to feel more cared for! But how? This post offers some  illustrations of what acting in self love might look like.

Saying No to a Sleep Over

From her home city New York Laretta taught Pauline much about inner life. Since Pauline lived a distance north from NYC, it took figuring for the two to meet to do the talking they so loved to do. This mentor’s apartment was basically one large room and an aisle kitchen. Laretta could not let Pauline sleep in her home. When anyone stayed over, she suffered:  this teacher could not sleep and then took many days to recover her balance. Laretta said no to requests for sleep overs. That was self love.

Coming Off Coffee

By my thirties, Cindy Lou was facing that that morning java was not doing her any good at all. Oh our heroine loved it: enjoyed the ritual of it, being part of the big cohort who loved their coffee; wanted the stimulation of it and the postponement of hunger.  The stuff was giving her intestinal distress each day and the shakes. Cindy’s nature was highly sensitive and the caffeine resulted in jitters when she drank it.

Cindy Lou took the approach of gradually reducing the amounts she imbibed. For her this detoxing took three years. After that interval, our star could walk by urns with free coffee at conferences and not indulge. This process was self love at each step, a journey headed for change of habit, greater self mastery and  health.


Cally fell in love with a man who lived half way down the east coast from where she had lived all her life. Her mother liked her living close by to support her.  Though she had been a dutiful daughter for many years Cally left her job, sold her house and moved toward a loving man and a new future. That was self love too.

Tick off some other kinds of self love:

  • an exercise program, getting to the gym, walking several times a week, the like
  • eating fresh vegetables and fruit
  • getting plenty of sleep– and even if it is more hours than others need
  • making a phone call to get support
  • yoga practice
  • going shopping for some treat
  • having a pet for companionship
  • speaking up to someone who has hurt you, or
  • letting an irritating statement go by and finding peace anyway.
  • riding your horse for relaxation.

We want to love. It feels fabulous to offer our heart’s out-pouring. And we love feeling in balance and caring for our dear selves so that our  love flows with energy and ease.

What are some of your examples? In what ways do you express the love for your dear self?

Do you have some questions about the topic?

Please comment! When we love ourselves we increase good feeling for everyone!






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