people had come together about once a month for many years. A member, Madeline, worked as a nurse on a busy hospital ward.  Short handed, the Head Nurse had been frequently asking her to cover shifts for other staff. Madeline liked attending to the needs of patients and enjoyed knowing her service filled an important need.

This dear nurse talked about how taking additional hours took a toll on her emotional and physical health. Discouraged, Madeline admitted that indeed she had agreed to these assignments. The blame for her depletion rested firmly on her own shoulders. She sounded disgusted with herself.

Nancy could relate to the story. Like her friend she too enjoyed helping others and had in her time discovered herself out of balance. Hey she resonated with agreeing to do a favor that turned out to take a toll of exhaustion and lowered spirits.

Both women were pursuing self discovery and growth. Nancy told Madeline this:

“I too am playing with how to shift. When I find myself agreeing again to some request that could easily be ‘too much’, I want to make myself ok even when I notice myself doing that habit again.

No I am not stupid nor a fool, though a voice inside starts to say that.

Instead, I tell myself, “I am on a road to healing and today this is what the process looks like.

I am a good person and delight that I notice myself taking on too much. In the observation I have a chance to change. Isn’t it great that I recognize the behavior that I want to shift.

The awareness is an advantage and a really cool thing! Coupled with the desire to transform, I see tremendous pay off coming. I want to be on this path.

I envision myself maintaining balance and ease. It feels good: I feel some lift now.

What a great direction for me!”

Let’s skip the blame and encourage ourselves.

Was it of value to read a script of what I might say to myself in the process of changing a habit? Do you have a related experience to share or a question? Please comment.