More on Self Loving
Last week I wrote about three examples of self loving. One reader emailed me wanting more stories of self support.
Headline: Raz feels angry and hurt and recovers with zest. In the process of recovery she faces what she did to attract what she got and she sees what to do going forward for more satisfying results.
Raz had a phone call with a new love interest. She’d only met him once; he lived at a distance so they were doing a few phone calls. During the call she felt disappointed with what the man was saying and felt hurt. He told stories, talked about himself, did not ask her questions, and put off meeting her.
Ok here is some contrast: what does she do? First she vented in her journal expressing her feelings. This is where she is right now. Then bit by bit she reached for events that she had enjoyed in her day. Reviewing, she recalled some things she liked about herself– what were those again?? 🙂 (Hint: she recalls when others have commented on her abilities, envisions those who respect her.) Writing in her journal clearly she penned: I want to feel better. The more she thinks about these things, the more she can remember. She calmed down and went to sleep for the night.
The next day she put more focus than usual on appreciating things in her day unfolding: beautiful sunshine pouring into a yoga class, satisfying talk with a good friend, laughing, a cancellation that freed up time sufficient for a swim, enjoying the bodily sensations of the yoga session and the swim. Relishing she prepared and ate a lovely lunch. And on.. lovely rich day.
By the following day Raz awoke feeling radiant, happy and herself. Dear Readers, please note how quickly she returned to feeling good in her life . She put “effort” into focusing with greater care ( appreciating more attentively) on the days she was recovering, and she got pay off: she felt good again relatively quickly. This was “work” of loving herself enough to care how she felt. Notice too that the Good kept flowing.
And about that love interest:
As she felt good, Raz was able to see what in the phone call reminded her of her past. That memory upset her. In that vision she felt less than powerful, less than respected. Now our heroine reminds herself that is over. She tunes into how she wants to feel: strong, self masterful, sexy! On that call she kicked her own trip wire. And, the path to recovery lit up under her feet and she stepped right on it. Resilience! Empowerment! Self Loving!
And in the days that followed she felt even better than she had felt prior to that phone call. The contrasting (what she did not want)experience produced momentum toward what she DOES want. Now Raz feels more sure-footed and clearer about what she wants as she is loving.
Ideas for Loving Acts for Self ( and others):
Use your finger to draw on a dirty window
Get a good haircut
Stay home in a snowstorm and call a friend
Phone your children when you feel balanced and happy
Listen to music you enjoy
Buy kale chips as a treat
Call your mother when you feel balanced and happy 😉
Stay on the diet even though you have not lost any weight yet
Lighting a fresh candle and taking quiet time
Read a thriller
Eat peanut butter and jelly on something…
Make angels in the snow.
You get the idea.
Did you enjoy the posts on self loving? Please write in with comments. I welcome your stories of self loving– submit them privately and indicate if you want them to be shared with others. Send to firstname.lastname@example.org. Each act of love enriches us all!