Janet Pearlman

Living in the Stream of Yes

Contrast with Light

Hues of the Blue Ridge, 16 x 20

Hues of the Blue Ridge, 16 x 20

Have you noticed things sometimes happen that you did not want to occur? We came to earth and signed on for experiencing things that make us know what we do want and cause us to expand. Rent increases, fender benders, milk spills, etc. I have had habits of thought where my mind starts to look for what I did wrong to cause these things. I notice I feel bad that the thing happened and then I feel worse as I blame myself.

Part of my growing edge is that I change these habits of thinking, noticing when the thought starts and then pivot to some soothing– not big deal, it’s ok, sun still shines, etc.

I wrote about the incident this spring where I left the key in the ignition and the car sat with engine not fully turned off. The battery went dead, and therefore the car could not be used until I had a jump. I felt myself about to go to self blame– that time I skipped it. I handled dealing with a ride and some rescheduling, and then I kept going. What a change! I felt like I was walking through a new doorway. It was so much easier and more pleasant to bag the self-castigation. A new quality to living– more light!

Recently listening to a seminar this idea was offered: What if we treated every “blip” as we do those ridges on the edge of the highway? When driving if we veer toward the guard rail, those indentations in the asphalt create a sound, an indicator that the car is out of the lane. What if we treated this unwanted showing up as we do that noise?  We shift our focus toward going straight again back in the lane. So often we review and perseverate on the mishap. Let’s get our eyes back on how to move forward toward what we enjoy.

How revolutionary! In driving one would rarely concern oneself over a few seconds of hearing the whine of driving on ridges. I recommend skipping the story about the problem and its ramifications…. Not mentally review to assess cause, not blame someone or myself.

Personally, I admit I need to practice this approach, this “keeping my eyes on the prize” and not looking back. I still have some former habits running. Can you sense the energy of what can be available? Worth the effort! what a different life!

I love remembering that going through the not preferred has pay offs– to formulate more clearly what I DO want. Living through the unwanted is what expands our world, “rocket fuel” toward where I am going. What if  wanted and unwanted are both ok: feel into this amazing reframe. It’s a new lifestyle with significantly less stress and lots more enjoyment.

Want to notice your blame thoughts sooner and sooner, then shift? Want simply to change your thinking a bit, metaphorically adjust your vector in the lane, and keep going? Please report in as you experiment. Write to jpearl@streamofyes.com. Great to go for more ease! I cheer you on!

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