For many of us in this culture family relationships can easily trigger feelings of guilt and obligations. In this post we offer some new thoughts on family and new strategies that feel better. Let’s take a look at the teachings which encourage us to uplift ourselves: choose love over guilt before reacting.
An Example with Janice and an Advisor
Janice had discovered her sister had been hospitalized and was not well. J had not known this dear sibling had been suffering hip pain for a year. Upon learning the news, this heroine felt uncomfortable—guilt ready to happen– and wanted to reach for an evolved response.
Our star sought advice about how to handle this situation. Janice consulted her friend Daniella who wants to live in balance and compassion as described in this blog.
Daniella knew the two sisters had once felt closer: they have not been communicating as much as they had been four years ago. In addition, like some families, they created fewer clan gatherings during the years when many stayed home much more.
The Counselor Responds
When D received the call, she felt clear and happy. This advisor began,
“In a recent interview Neale Donald Walsch, author of Conversations with God[1], puts forth that in the nature of the universe all of us are inherently, unconditionally loved from birth. Therefore, none of us needs forgiveness because in divine eyes we have not committed any transgressions. We are seen as completely enough and ok already. The Abraham Hicks teachings and other spiritual works espouse harmonious viewpoints. We can live into that!
“You feel hesitant to respond. Do you wonder if your sister had wanted you to reach out to her more during this period? Are you thinking she could have tried harder to contact you? This sister endured almost a year of discomfort without telling you or consulting you for information on alternative healing?
Janice, you are already using these teachings. I sense you feel an impulse to go into fear based thinking, but you also have in your mind: Skip thoughts of guilt, of not being enough, of what you or she ‘should’ have done.
You are mastering tuning into how you are already loved and you need not defend yourself. In light of that, you can make it ok that this sibling may not want your views on politics, health or medicine. That fact need not be taken personally.
You love your sister deeply. Forfeit any other commentary. Go right for expressing that strong affection.”
Janice Breathes Relief
Immediately, Janice allowed the wisdom of what her friend was telling her. J responded, “Oh yes, yes I see.”
Daniella continued, “You can go immediately to accepting her as you find her now. Soothing her comes easily to you.
Expressing your compassion flows out from you effortlessly.
You do not owe her ( or anyone else) anything. No hooks on you!”
Janice paused in silence for a moment, absorbing the words. “That was so valuable! Thank you! I might have reviewed ‘But why didn’t she call me?’ for a spell, but no I won’t go there. What a relief to release of all the past hurts or possible recriminations! That was dense and I can digest it.”
Take Away
We can realize that what matters most is to express our appreciation, acceptance and understanding of one another. So many squabbles about some kind of proving ourselves, one upping, blaming, even placating – we can drop all of that.
Choose Love Over Guilt! We are already loved. Nothing to defend or prove.
Do you want to ask a question about what you read here? Do you have a tale of your success in using this principle that you are eager to share? Please comment! We are on the path to loving our lives more and more!
[1] Neale Donald Walsch, Conversations with God (Hampton Roads Publishing, Inc, 1995)