Everyone experiences irritation at another’s behavior from time to time. We might proceed directly to that person we find annoying and tell them to change his or her ways. At best that approach offers mixed results—often does not prove effective at all. 😊 Who likes to be on the receiving end of that kind of discussion?
Yes we do have the power to perceive that other’s gestalt differently. Yes, we could shift ourselves so what had felt so annoying could be less so—what if it no longer bothered us?
An Account that Illuminates
Yazmine loves to receive affection with physical contact. She admits she appreciates that reassurance and very much enjoys offering a big hug to others.
Lately her man has felt a loss of vitality and, accompanying that, he has slowed way down on offering loving gestures. He seems to be worrying about something, too.
In response, our star misses receiving that expression. Oh yes, she feels reluctant to “confront the situation” directly to him. Does that “lay it out there” approach assist someone to change his ways with ease? Doubtful. Yazmine kept reviewing the “problem,” and it was dawning on her that going over it a lot” represented a totally ineffective remedy.
Really this dear woman would greatly prefer feeling good! Yes Y would rather find a playful attitude for this situation.
As she started implementing her :feel better” strategy, this protagonist again and again became aware, “Uh oh, I am letting my mind continue to review the irritation and rationally push for a fix. That brings up sad, empty and frustrated feelings. Wait a minute—I do not want to feel that way!” this heroine thought.
That night in her journal Yazmine asked Source Energy to offer more detailed guidance regarding how to shift inside herself.
Wow quick results! The next morning this star felt drawn to a book she had pulled off her shelf a few days ago, one not read for years. The volume lay at her feet while she sat to meditate: The Sermon on the Mount: The Key to Success in Life[1] by Emmet Fox.
Scanning through table of contents Y got attracted to a specific chapter: “Resist not evil.” This phrase from this same book had been recently mentioned on a seminar she watched online. She flipped it open and read.
This entry laid out Fox’s approach involving turning the other cheek, i.e. changing our focus, putting attention on WHAT WE DO WANT.
Relief
“I can do that!” thought Yazmine. Then she got busy listing how “She Wanted to Feel”. Y recalled past experiences that called up that feeling; songs that brought up the good vibes, people who helped her feel happy, abundant and the like.
She planned to keep reviewing what SHE DID WANT. Even just starting out Yazmine felt some relief.
Interestingly, as this dear woman strengthened and stabilized her own good mood, Y found herself more readily able to offer friendly conversation and kindness to this person who had formerly disturbed her. Wow she created her own peace and felt relief.
Want to share a story where you shifted your thinking and got results? Please comment. Please experiment with more trust, surrender, breathe and feel the freedom.
[1] Emmet Fox, The Sermon on the Mount (New York, Hagerstown, San Francisco, London, Harper & Row, Publishers, 1938) p. 70