Janet Pearlman

Living in the Stream of Yes

Strength Building from Unwanted


Taylor Creek II, 24 x 30,  $595

Taylor Creek II, 24 x 30, $595

Has something happened to you that was traumatic and very much unwanted? Probably it has. Experiences like that do seem to be part of this life. I recommend using awareness to find some good in the unfolding. You know the line– in a barn full of all this excrement there must be a pony in there somewhere! Please read this example of what I mean:

Going to a routine appointment driving in the pouring rain, Marlana turned into a parking lot where a car was paused in an unexpected location. She could not stop in time and hit it.

It seemed no one was hurt; our M and the other party were walking around and attending to exchange of information, calling police, tow trucks, insurers, etc. Though in shock, Marlana attended to the business at hand.


She was able to notice some kindness flowing: the man nearby who offered his office as a haven out of the rain, the police who came and said “accidents happen.”  Upon reaching home, our valiant soul reached out for support and got some relief. Many voices saying she was ok.

Yet inside her,  guilt and shame continued to well up as she revisited the trauma. M had never before been responsible for such a serious accident.


The next day our heroine called a new friend, Paul. In the course of the exchange she told him about the accident. That dear  man, he offered to come up to see her that very day– and did :). Paul set his sights on helping her to get her mind back on some fun. It worked!


Marlana knew that to help oneself recover, it would be good to get her thoughts on something  grounded and positive. She noticed her mind kept coming back to review that upsetting moment with sound and jolt of crunch.

The energy of that incident was so present. So valuable to rest in the knowledge that she was ok, that it was ok to flow with these powerful feelings and ok to let time help them subside.


In the depths of the painful emotions, fun was not within feeling reach; it seemed impossible.  But so important to realize that run of habitual thought is not true! Stress like that fills the whole inner screen– briefly– but pleasure and good are still around. Phew! She still had access to good!


Marlana felt her liveliness returning. Isn’t it great that she could feel awful and find her way to feeling much better again.  Even though over the next two weeks she did tap into the distress again, each time with greater ease she returned to feeling the joy of living for big stretches of the day.

One day she was chatting at a meeting, recounting her recent drama.   M told this colleague her biggest challenge now was reaching for forgiving herself.

“Tell me about it,” said this dear person who was suffering from a serious health challenge. I could have gotten a screening test for the disease I have but I chose not to do so.” Now his body has an advanced case.

Our star thought, “Wow maybe this car blip is not that big a deal after all. That puts it into a bigger perspective. I am a good person, I am, I am. 🙂 ”


Days passed, and Marlana handled the various reports, vehicle appraisals. Her feelings of shame came up, and more and more quickly she could find a fresh view again, some fun, some relief.  Uplift showed up in many forms, welcomed assistance from Forces of Good. With her heightened awareness of the habitual thoughts, she got aid from healers to transform that baggage. Since she became aware of its existence, she could let it go.

One evening, very tired, she got some adjudication news that seemed so awful and fear poured in again. By morning, though, this strong woman knew what to do. She reached for “surrender,”  a knowing that the Forces of Good would help and guide her through these proceedings. She rested into the comforting thought that she was and will be ok.


  1. Resilience, shorter periods to bounce back to recovery and satisfying moments.
  2. More robust self forgiveness. All that guilt and shame were not what was true about her.  Very cool shift!
  3. More practice with surrender. Trusting that Good will prevail and allowing the flow of life.

Was this article helpful? Please comment and let me know. We are all connected. Sending Love.


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