Janet Pearlman

Living in the Stream of Yes

Soothing Myself: What I Want to Remember

Montague Pool II, 24 x 30,  $525

Montague Pool II, 24 x 30, $525

Last week I got quite upset by an interaction with a man whom I am dating. He was advocating for a step for which I was not ready, asking me for things I was not willing to offer. Many thoughts and feelings started to swirl. As I  processed, I got hooked into putting more stock into the triggered feelings of fear and shame than I prefer.

How do I soothe myself? Below is what I want to remember:

  1. Nothing is going wrong

Isn’t this journey of life something! I came to Earth for the joy of living.  So enriching: I have an experience– parts of it I do not like, and then as an inevitable consequence I turn to what I would prefer, thereby expanding. When I expand, so does All That Is. Venturing where I have not gone before, my personal expansion brings  exhilaration. When something happens that I do not want: I can always know I am right on track.

  1. This is what growth looks like! Evolving involves flushing up associated thought and feelings from the past.

 No matter what I experience, it is so soothing  to realize I am fulfilling my purpose, on my life’s journey! I discover my thought patterns and with the ones that do not feel good I choose to make new ones. I make it ok to be traveling and getting there– bit by bit.

  1. We earthlings move forward in small increments.

Latest brain science shows in this process of adaptation in creating new thoughts people make new cells in the brain. As we proceeds with the change the neural cells gather in clumps, then make strings and then develop new neural pathways on which the new thoughts flow. We humans build a new highway for our new thinking. By our nature, biologically, bit by bit is the way we grow. ( No faster, faster… hey.. not humanly possible. Good to notice.)

  1. The sun shines strongly behind any storm or cloud cover. Well Being reigns down no matter how I feel.

          Love this metaphor!

  1. Source Energy cannot pour any more love on and through me– I am already loved.

I want to let it in. How? Allow ease, take a nap, focus on something I enjoy…etc

Some thoughts for me personally. Perhaps they might assist you too:

  1. I can trust my heart and my gut.

As I processed my upset with a friend, she told me I can trust my heart and gut. Something in me has good impulses. Boy that one calmed me down and I felt the shift toward feeling better.

  1. My job is to attend to feeling good myself.

           In this interaction with the date, I started to be careful not to hurt his feelings. Though I was acculturated otherwise as many women are, I do not have to take care of anyone else. This may look like other people feeling disappointment in a given moment.  Each person is in charge of keeping his or her own connection, to the reach for feeling good.

Recently I heard an account from a woman caring for her nephew wanting clarity on how she might better handle a recent episode in care-taking. She resided in the Northeast, and it was April. This nephew saw a beautiful lake nearby, and he wanted to go play on its  icy surface. She said no. Then she felt bad that she disappointed him.

She wanted to trust his judgment but it did not feel right just then to allow use of the ice.  Had she done the right thing?  The workshop leader shared– yes the caring for the boy included trusting her own judgment, and as the adult knowing the risks and setting limits. You need not feel less than good– you were following sound guidance arising from within you. Believe in yourself!

  1. I am gaining so much value through having this experience and gaining more clarity.

As I uplifted myself from this upset, the promise of gained clarity was definitely fulfilled.  Hour by hour I have better understood my own fears, saw what triggered the shame, felt the resilience of my self confidence returning. I feel much better prepared for further interactions with this and other men. Wow it is so new for me to shed thinking as a care-taker. It is hard to put into words how much better I feel having been through this “blip”. Truly, I gained so much!

Did any of you dear readers resonate with this post? Do you have questions or experiences to share? Please write to me at jpearl@streamofyes.com. We are all apart of massive evolution of the human heart in this time in which we live.


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