We all want to get along well with our friends while honoring ourselves. At times we feel triggered with self-protection (fear) and resentment. When we find those feeling states in ourselves, we can reach for loving, we can make a decision clearly to find positive regard over pettiness. Please read this example to understand more.
The Story
Carla and Mallory had been friends for years. Mallory had moved away and now was coming to visit for an extended stay.
Carla enjoyed Mallory and was naturally friendly, knowledgeable and helpful. Mallory did not visit often.
As Mallory’s visit time unfolded, the two agreed to a mutual project and made some plans. Several times Carla was inconvenienced when Mallory did not follow through as they had agreed, missing meetings, not doing what they had agreed, etc.
Carla set limits and went about her business best she could.
At one point Mallory discovered that Carla did Jin Shin Jyutsu, got a sample and loved it. Soon Mallory wanted more sessions and private lessons, not mentioning what balance for C would come from this sharing.
Indeed, Mallory had great enthusiasm for JSJ, began to tell Carla how she would take a longer class and study more. M requested more sessions from Carla.
Carla found herself feeling annoyed and manipulated. Many of M’s assertions about her plans to study were not acted upon.
Carla noticed she felt hurt, betrayed and disappointed. Carla had wanted to offer this healing art she loved and valued—and now there was this atmosphere with hidden agendas and misrepresentations.
“Oh dear,” Carla thought, “I am moving into resentment. I don’t want to come from that. Should I pull away from this relationship? How can I continue feeling strong and respected?”
Inspiration That Turned the Tide
Carla consulted Wise Counsel reaching for an empowered advise. Here is what WC shared:
“This is a great opportunity to learn about aspects of unconditional love. In this situation you can readily see how important it is to absorb and fill with pure love. You want to and can feel secure in yourself. As you strengthen and love yourself, you can observe Mallory’s behavior with some detachment.
It is likely that M feels quite insecure herself and goes through life looking for ways to get things from others that she thinks she cannot provide for herself.
In YOUR life you get to care for YOURSELF excellently. As a sovereign individual you become aware of the assumptions you make and and then test if those formulations work for you.
Possibly, you could choose to offer a loving gesture of this healing session with no strings. You respect yourself whether Mallory respects you or not. You are easily able to set limits on what you give. “
Resolution
Carla read the message and got a good night’s sleep. Next morning C received clarity and made some new choices.
- Carla would make an appointment to provide the healing session Mallory wanted.
- This heroine would spend quiet time with herself taking charge of her attitude. C would thoroughly enjoy providing this service.
- As C felt better and better about herself independently, she could envision a constructive relationship with Mallory.
- Our star could heal her hurt and disappointment. Carla could see the fear in Mallory that was behind her manipulations, thereby not taking it personally. Carla knew how to respect herself and keep herself safe.
Taking charge of her attitude worked beautifully. Carla requested some specific service from Mallory as a trade and organized the task to facilitate is accomplishment.
In this positive atmosphere, Mallory responded with enthusiasm and they got that done.
Carla thanked Wise Counsel with great feeling. WC loved how Carla lived the suggestions and succeeded so well.
How satisfying to turn such troubles into a harmonious relationship! You can too.
Do you have some similar tales of success to share? Please comment!.
About the Author
Janet Pearlman is a spiritual teacher, counselor, healer and artist. These posts demonstrate everyday applications of the path to greater self knowledge and mastery. Opportunities for greater empowerment abound in the moments of our lives. As we all go for operating from a centered and loving space, we are creating a world where peace can prevail. In her forty-six year journey of self-discovery, Janet has deeply studied the teachings of Abraham-Hicks, Ernest Holmes, Inayat Khan and more. Janet offers individual sessions by phone and in person. Please contact her at jpearl555@earthink.net to arrange an appointment.