We want to develop more and more inner strength. Yes, we look forward to more clarity, self-respect and self-support along with greater compassion for others.

Some of us have many shame-evoking thoughts in us. We may notice we are criticizing ourselves in our heads “Oh I am such a jerk! I know better.” And the like. That raises uncomfortable feelings. Those of us raised in this culture those thoughts can sound like a truth about ourselves.

But no! This feeling of shame and self-judgment, though many of us may feel it, can stimulate our growth to more powerful place as we become aware of that habitual thinking.

We have available to us the tools and abilities to move toward  insight and kindness.

Rhona’s Experience

Rhona woke up in the night, feeling upset, filled with the thought, “Oh I have had a bad dream.” Soon, our star realized she could not return to sleep because she felt awful, ruminating on the content of the nightmare.

To start, what did she do to comfort herself?

As a first step R booted up her email  to assist her in returning to present time.

This worked for immediate soothing and in about an hour Rhona was able to return to bed and fell asleep.

What of this disturbance? Next morning as she pondered her circumstance, she recognized how the depth of this discomfort was shame and self-judgment. We can benefit from noticing this pattern within us.

View from Soul Without Shame

Byron Brown, in his work Soul Without Shame explains how we can use such thoughts constructively.

“If you choose to pursue inner work, the search for understanding who you are, what your life means and what reality is—you are by necessity setting yourself directly in conflict with your (editor: inner) judge. To explore what you believe, what you experience, why you act and feel the way you do is to question the authority of the judge.”[1]

In other words, by looking into the discomfort we begin to shake up the basis on which the self-judgment operates.

We “use it in the work” or find “Grist for the mill” as we keep going and growing.

Wisdom Unfolding

Here are some reframing points:

1. We can allow strong emotion to flow through. In the incident described, her living through it dissipated some fear.
2. We can observe such experiences and keep going.
3. WE realize that this inner environment of shame and fear in those distressing moments is not at all speaking “the truth” about us.
4. We can label this False Evidence Appearing Real.
5. We flow with compassion for so many of us who suffered in this way. We are whole, waking up and becoming clearer as humans.

Do you have a story from your growth of a liberating moment? Please share!

About the Author

Janet Pearlman is a spiritual teacher, counselor, healer and artist. These posts demonstrate everyday applications of the path to greater self knowledge and mastery. Opportunities for greater empowerment abound in the moments of our lives. As we all go for operating from a centered and loving space, we are creating a world where peace can prevail. In her forty-seven year journey of self-discovery, Janet has deeply studied the teachings of Abraham-Hicks, Ernest Holmes, Inayat Khan and more. Janet offers individual sessions by phone and in person. Please contact her at jpearl555@earthink.net to arrange an appointment.

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1 Brown, Byron, Soul Without Shame, Guide to liberating yourself from the judge within, (Boston, MA; Shambala Publications, Inc, 1999) 81