For many of us family relationships can easily trigger feelings of guilt and obligations. In this post we offer some new thoughts on family and new strategies that facilitate maintaining good feelings. Read on for an illustration of how one woman skipped the guilt.
Events Trigger Lorna’s Emotions
As Lorna made plans for her holiday she contacted a sister about famliy plans. To her surprise, Lorna learned that one of the three sisters was not well and had recently been hospitalized. Wow L learned about the hip pain this ill sister had endured. Up to that point no had told her this news. Upon learning the news, this heroine felt uncomfortable—guilt ready to happen– and wanted to reach for an evolved response.
Our star sought advice about how to handle this situation, to live an alternative to feeling guilty.
In the last five years Lorna knew she had had fewer communications and visits with family.
Lorna Gets Advice
This Advisor began,
“In a recent interview Neale Donald Walsch, author of Conversations with God[1], puts forth that in the nature of the universe all of us are inherently, unconditionally loved from birth. Therefore, according to Walsh we do not need forgiveness. In divine eyes we have not committed any transgressions. We are seen as completely enough and ok already. The Abraham Hicks teachings and other spiritual works espouse harmonious viewpoints. We can live into that!
You feel hesitant to respond. Do you wonder if your sister had wanted you to reach out to her more during this period? Are you thinking she could have tried harder to contact you? This sister endured almost a year of discomfort without telling you or consulting you for information on alternative healing?
Lorna, I discern that you feel an impulse to go into fear-based thinking. But, your intuition whispered that you can take more personal power. You want to skip the guilt, the ‘I am not enough” stuff and what you should have done.
Already, I see that you want to tune into knowing you are already loved. You want to bypass defending yourself. In light of that, you can make it ok that with this sibling you have divergent views on politics, health and medicine. Let’s make that ok.
You love your sister deeply. Forfeit any other commentary. Go right for expressing that strong affection.”
Lorna Breathes Relief
Immediately, Lorna allowed this advisor’s wisdom to wash over her. L responded, “Oh yes, yes I see.”
Advisor continued, “You can go immediately to accepting her as you find her now. Soothing her comes easily to you.
Expressing your compassion flows out from you effortlessly.
You do not owe her ( or anyone else) anything. No hooks on you!”
Our star paused in silence for a moment, absorbing the words. “That was so valuable! Thank you! I might have reviewed ‘But why didn’t she call me?’ for a spell, but no I won’t go there. What a relief to release of all the past hurts or possible recriminations! That was dense and I can digest it.”
Take Away
We can realize that what matters most is to express our appreciation, acceptance and understanding of one another. So many squabbles about some kind of proving ourselves, one upping, blaming, even placating – we can drop all of that.
Choose Love Over Guilt! Love pours down, around and through us. Nothing to defend or prove.
Do you want to ask a question about what you read here? Do you have a tale of your success in using this principle that you are eager to share? Please comment! We are on the path to loving our lives more and more!
About the Author
Janet Pearlman is a spiritual teacher, counselor, healer and artist. These posts demonstrate everyday applications of the path to greater self knowledge and mastery. Opportunities for greater empowerment abound in the moments of our lives. As we all go for operating from a centered and loving space, we are creating a world where peace can prevail. In her forty-seven year journey of self-discovery, Janet has deeply studied the teachings of Abraham-Hicks, Ernest Holmes, Inayat Khan and more. Janet offers individual sessions by phone and in person. Please contact her at jpearl555@earthink.net to arrange an appointment.
[1] Neale Donald Walsch, Conversations with God (Hampton Roads Publishing, Inc, 1995)