We might have someone direct criticism at us. It can happen. In how we react we can gain deeper awareness of ourselves. Then, however we react we can make that ok. We can see what habits of thought are operating in this moment and then shift as we have new insight.
Darlene’s Example
Darlene holds a professorship at a nearby university. Recently a student in one of her classes quit. This person did not merely walk out: She hurled some mean-spirited comments to Darlene on the way.
“You have anger problems,” the exiting student screamed at the teacher. “You are obsessed with defending yourself.”
Inside Darlene, those statements hurt. Then D felt disappointed with herself that she would let that kind of thing bother her.
Our star called Wise Counsel (WC) for support.
Darlene: “Why do I care what that student thinks of me?
As I processed the incident, I began to worry about my career. I started feeling overwhelmed and that I never get enough done. I feel miserable!”
WC: “Most importantly, I recommend that we be kind to our dear selves. We all feel uncomfortable when someone points out unwanted qualities about us! Isn’t it quite human to have some reaction. Let’s accept that. Let’s make that ok.
Yes, you have been working on shifting some outdated patterns of thinking, one’s like blaming. One good thing worth noting: in this instance you did not start to call her names! You controlled yourself. No blame to the one who criticized passed your lips.
You had thought, ‘Why do I care what that student thinks about me?’ Isn’t it great that immediately you realized you did not take her word as being true about you! You would rather feel balanced. That is a step toward higher consciousness, a positive aspect.
In this story, someone blamed you and then you blamed yourself for getting triggered. Since we know most humans would feel some reaction, let’s make it ok that you felt your response. Let’s ACCEPT this human process.”
Darlene: I can get lost in the habit of self-blame and then, in feeling overwhelmed.
WC: Yes, you have identified those well entrenched habits of your thought. You are already on your way to shifting them. Good for you that you persist. Good for you that you recognize the habit!
Let’s ACCEPT that this is what the process of changing thoughts looks like. Noticing the habit and then bit by bit reaching for a new thought.
Such an important milestone to shift from self-blaming to self-accepting! We can say “Uh oh I am doing that again. Isn’t it great that this time I am noticing!”
Simple on one hand, yes. And simple first steps are like planting an acorn. Innocuous seeming action—and wow what a magnificent oak of a being we are growing!
Do you have a story to share? Please comment! We all benefit.
About the Author
Janet Pearlman is a spiritual teacher, counselor, healer and artist. These posts demonstrate everyday applications of the path to greater self knowledge and mastery. Opportunities for greater empowerment abound in the moments of our lives. As we all go for operating from a centered and loving space, we are creating a world where peace can prevail. In her forty-seven year journey of self-discovery, Janet has deeply studied the teachings of Abraham-Hicks, Ernest Holmes, Inayat Khan and more. Janet offers individual sessions by phone and in person. Please contact her at jpearl555@earthink.net to arrange an appointment.