When folks started suggesting to me to be kind to myself, did I know what to do differently? At first…not really…
Did they mean have a cookie at a break? Were they on the payroll of a sugar plantation or part of a plot to put pounds on me?
Inner voice in the beginning: “Get away from me I have work to do” … What’s this “Kind” business?
Ok, I have played with this. I practiced. H
ere is an example from a recent slice of my life. I could not find the orange beaded bracelet. I love that piece though I had not been wearing it for a couple of weeks. Meant to get clear where it was. I looked “everywhere”. I looked and looked. Inside, I felt the habit voice rising up accusingly, “What an idiot!You lost the ___thing! What’d you do with it!”
Ok in this incident recently I did remember I did not want to get upset. There is guidance for me and I can use it, these Abe teachings. something about being kind…
I felt the upset coming but I paused. Well Being Abounds. I remembered it was ok, I was ok. I listed things that are going well for me. The bracelet is not that big a deal to me. The secret here: what really stirs me up is thinking I am incompetent, that self blame. If I let go of that — it is just a bracelet I can replace.
Kindness is staying on my own side. Keeping my goodness in focus. In fact, I am an integral part of the Forces of Good.
I gave up looking for the bracelet that day. I made it alright to not know if it was really gone or misplaced. Visiting friends, I had a wonderful time. I basked in good food and sunshine.
In a day or two, while packing my knapsack for the day, there was the bracelet. It rested in a pouch that I almost never use. I could find it when back in balance.
What a different life I am discovering if I skip self blame! I recommend it!
I love to hear comments from readers. Write to jpearl@streamofyes.com.