Janet Pearlman

Living in the Stream of Yes

Control Another? A Past Post Refreshed and Juicy.

Dear Readers, This piece was originally posted several years ago. To me the message bears repeating. Please enjoy it in its edited form today.

Never Alone, Diptych 16 x 20, Acrylic with Texture on Canvas

Never Alone 2011

In my understanding of the Laws of the Universe we cannot control another person. With some focusing and practice we can learn to “control” ourselves, master habits we learned in the past, change beliefs we hold. Particularly when a loved one is in distress, some kind of trouble or when we have difficulty relating to that person, we can have the impulse to want to control them. But we can’t. How do we feel good in the face of such a situation?

In 2006 I learned alot about this principle.  My mother called on me to be by her side as she broke her leg. The situation deepened, and she needed me to stay with her for many weeks. For many years I had wanted to protect myself from her judgments.  I interacted with her guarding my heart. Formerly I would have wanted to control her to keep her from hurting me. By this time though I had learned some new possibilities.

I picture my loved one in her perfection. I envision her healthy strong, master of her impulses, feeling happy. At this time instead of protecting myself in my mind, I  pictured her in a bubble of light, happy and dancing. I ran that image internally not saying a word about it out loud, when she was chatting or complaining, and as she slept.  I did this for myself—it kept my mind in a positive place. I had something to do instead of feeling frustrated and helpless.

What happened was more than “worth reporting”—it was astonishing! From a woman who complained and spoke in irritation, my mother became a very positive person.  This woman who had raised me paid me more compliments in her last two weeks of life than in all my 55 years up to that point. Here is what I noticed: it was like I created an atmosphere of Light, of positive energy, that she could choose to join or enter. I did not “control her” and I did not intend to change her—but I created a space that was inviting.

We can see our loved ones as whole. We can do this for our own sake. We do it until inside ourselves we no longer worry about them or see their “problem”.  In place of what we might have seen in the past , we see the perfection already there on the invisible level. We cannot lose because in the process we are training our mind toward more vision of Good. This is something we can “do”.

Do you want to comment? Would you like to read more stories of what we can do to influence another — not “control” them– how we can use our power? Do you have some of your own stories to share? Please communicate at jpearl@streamofyes.com.  Together, we are changing this world Big Time!


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