This week I had strong feelings come up that showed up my habit to feel like I should do for others at the expense of my welfare. I was presented with a choice where I would put myself under a strain– mostly to prove I cared about someone else. A dear friend reminded me: my love is already expressed in so many ways, is already known and that I can be kind to myself.
I feel it is a good time to re-send the article I wrote sometime back on being kind to oneself. Isn’t that a lovely reminder as you start this new juicy year 2015? Here it is:
When folks started suggesting to me to be kind to myself, did I know what to do differently? At first…not really…Did they mean have a cookie at a break? Were they on the payroll of a sugar plantation or part of a plot to put pounds on me?
My inner voice in the beginning: “Get away from me I have work to do” … What’s this “Kind” business?
I have played with this. I practiced. Here is an example: I could not find the orange beaded bracelet. I love that piece though I had not been wearing it for a couple of weeks. Meant to get clear where it was. I looked “everywhere”. I looked and looked. Inside, I felt the habit voice rising up accusingly, “What an idiot! You lost the ___thing! What’d you do with it!”
In this recent incident I did remember and was able to remain relatively calm. I recalled there is guidance for me to use in these Abe teachings. something about being kind to self…
I felt the upset coming but I paused. Well Being Abounds. I remembered all is well: I was ok. I listed things that are flowing well for me. The bracelet does not mean that much to me. The secret here: what really stirs me up is thinking I am incompetent, that self blame. If I let go of the self-recrimination– what a difference — it is just a bracelet I can replace.
Kindness is staying on my own side. Keeping my goodness in focus. In fact, I am an integral part of the Forces of Good.
I gave up looking for the bracelet that day. I made it alright to not know if it was really gone or misplaced. Visiting friends, I had a wonderful time. I basked in good food and sunshine. In a day or two, while packing my knapsack for the day, I came upon the bracelet. It rested in a pouch that I almost never use. I could find it when I was relaxed and in balance.
What a different life I live when I skip self blame and am kind to myself! Wow I highly recommend it!
Dear Readers, do you have a story about self-soothing to share? Please send to firstname.lastname@example.org. Kindness for all of us! Happy New Year!