We all have experienced an upsetting reaction as we live through some unwanted situation. Then, feelings of fear, guilt and shame may rise up and grab our attention.
As we move toward more and more self-mastery, we notice that these upsets show us “our stuff”. Michael Singer author of The Untethered Soul speaks to this:
“If you truly want to grow spiritually, you’ll realize that (not standing up to) … your stuff is keeping you trapped. Eventually, you’ll want out at any cost. You will then realize that life is actually trying to help you. Life is surrounding you with people and situations that stimulate growth.
You don’t have to worry about right or wrong. You don’t have to worry about other people’s issues. You only have to open your heart in the face of anything and everything and to permit the purification process to take place.
When you (open your heart) , the first thing you will see is that situations will unfold that hit your stuff. But in truth that’s exactly what has been happening your entire life. The only difference is now you see it as a good thing because it is an opportunity to let go.”[1]
How to let go?
We consciously witness our condition. We find that place inside us that stays calm and observes us under all circumstances. Singer states,
“You notice that there is something to be released. You then must be aware that you, the one who notices the stuff coming up, is distinct from what you are experiencing. … You are noticing it, but who are you?
This place of Centered Awareness is the Seat of the witness, the seat of Self… If you let go and then stay in that seat of awareness, what you are feeling will pass.”[2]
We can bear witness to the upset, feel what is uncomfortable, allow it to flow through us.
Analyzing and reviewing the situation takes us deeper into that fear and represents holding on not letting go. It takes more of our awareness and keeps the stuff in place.
The Example
Chloe attended a meeting on “goal setting,” a topic with which C often felt uncomfortable feelings. While listening, she started to feel vulnerable, angry, shamed, guilty and more.
Inside she reached for calm and a return to feeling confident. She observed that she was not shifting immediately. Can she make that ok to feel lousy at that moment?
Granted, Chloe was less upset than in past experiences on this subject: she was making progress in her mastery. As soon as she could, she left the meeting, went on to food shopping and partook of soothing internal conversation.
Internally, our star was tempted to start a tirade, pushing against the assumptions and contents of the lecture.
C knew that fighting brought more of what she did not want. Instead, our girl followed her inner guidance to get her mind on some self-expression that felt good to her.
Her main agenda at that point was to be with herself, pass some minutes and go for enjoying what she could.
Our heroine realized she had a bit of headache. Mostly, C made what she was experiencing ok. That meant she was ok being reactive and miserable for a few minutes. Release any struggle, just let it go.
That afternoon letting go looked like taking a walk, working on an article, writing a friendly email. Chloe was in the flow, ate an early dinner and watched a tv program new to her and enjoyed it.
Yup, rather than struggle and rage, this protagonist took the advice to “keep going.”.
The next day dawned and the sun came out. She let herself be.
In our culture, it is common to deny the feeling and put a smile on your face. Instead, it is more effective to surrender to the feeling in that moment, then moving gradually into coming back to ease. Offer yourself gift of some time. Flow with the momentum and allow recovery bit by bit.
Have some stories of your letting go that you want to share? Please comment! Have a question? This author will respond 😊
Take Away Message
A human cannot go from feeling awful to radiant and delighted in one sweep. The “feeling bad” has some momentum. Honor it and give it some time to dissipate.
About the Author
Janet Pearlman is a spiritual teacher, counselor, healer and artist. These posts demonstrate everyday applications of the path to greater self knowledge and mastery. Opportunities for greater empowerment abound in the moments of our lives. As we all go for operating from a centered and loving space, we are creating a world where peace can prevail. In her forty-six year journey of self-discovery, Janet has deeply studied the teachings of Abraham-Hicks, Ernest Holmes, Inayat Khan and more. Janet offers individual sessions by phone and in person. Please contact her at jpearl555@earthink.net to arrange an appointment.
[1] Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul (Oakland, New Harbinger Publications, Inc. 2007) p.74
[2] Ibid, p. 75