Lavendar Sky, 12 x 16, Acrylic with Texture on Canvas, $180
I feel a noticeable gain: a chunk of iceberg of Self Blame breaking off and melting into the ocean of Well Being. I learned this week that the practice I have had for 50 years of wearing anti-pronation shoes did not serve me well. I had thought that these supportive shoes were what my body needed and were “good for me”. On Thursday while participating in a Feldenkrais class I saw that wearing this footwear prevented my ankles from moving and maintaining their full range of motion. The resulting stiffness in my ankles has affected my knee to disadvantage.
How do I react inside myself to this information? My former habitual reaction would have been to blame myself for causing myself harm. In fact, I did feel those shame-related feelings arise, very uncomfortable feelings, but this time this persepctive did not look like the truth. I identified that these were emotions from my habits and my past. They passed through very briefly, and I returned to present time.
I make it ok to have worn supportive shoes without knowing the harmful effects they can cause. I accept this blip in life. My mother learned about the damaging effects of sugar around 1970 while reading Adele Davis. By then her children were mostly grown, and she had fed them many desserts with lots of sugar for most of their lives. She was horrified to become aware of what she had done. Humans learn new information and change course. This is a key feature of life on Planet Earth. This is the process of growth in which all humans engage.
Bit by Bit I release the habit of blaming myself when I uncover a reason to shift my thinking and actions. More and more I allow myself to feel the Well Being around me– feel the Bounty. Life become so much EASIER. Wow.
Integrating changes takes a period of time for all humans. As I go I soften my attitude toward myself and tread with greater ease this human journey.
Do you have an example of a time when you started to blame yourself but shifted instead? Please comment on this piece to jpearl@streamofyes.com. I love to hear from you.