Dear Readers, These blog posts encourage you to reach for thoughts that feel better. In this entry I recount some stories of noticing the way you think, noticing how it feels and shifting when it does not feel good.
This morning I was writing in my journal. The impulse had arisen from wanting to list appreciations
— in a few minutes I noticed that I had started to review a situation that was not wholly uplifting– it had anxious tones, too
“Wait a minute!” I said to myself. “I want to stop doing this.
Let me make lists of what I do appreciate instead.”
One time a few years ago I was washing dishes at the sink. There I stood hands in dish water feeling uncomfortable. A voice in my head said “That water is not soapy enough. You don’t know how to wash dishes.”
Uck! I felt small and unloved. I felt shamed.
Wait a minute! I realized that voice was one I had heard in a relationship with a man from whom I had been separated for 10 years. “Look around,” I said to myself. “He is not here.
Uh-hummm. (Clear throat) You are the only one here. That means I am belittling myself for the way I wash dishes.
What is wrong with this picture?
I want to stop doing that right now!! I want to change that inner habit of saying mean things to myself.” And so I did.
Now I sail though washing dishes. Sometimes I even dance in the kitchen!
Marlena had a date with a man she liked.
In exchange of messages after the rendezvous, he indicated how busy was his work schedule and how he would not be available as much as he preferred in the coming season.
For a few days she reviewed what she liked about him. It felt good.
Then something bubbled up from inside her and she began to list cautions and remind herself how little she knew about him. Complaints about him crept in.
She thought about how hard it was to wait and how he would not correspond for a long time.
Wait a minute! Marlena caught herself. “This is not what I want to be doing,” she said to herself.
It feels better to review what I liked about him. And to remind myself what a great life I have. I have so many projects I want to do, so many friends to visit. And I love my own time and I love sleeping! 🙂
She shifted and began again thinking good things about this fellow.
Know what? He wrote in just a few more days to ask her out.
Readers, I encourage you to cultivate an inner observer, a kind one who can discern when the habits you don’t like start to run.
Do you have some stories of when you shifted and were pleased you did? Please comment!