Janet Pearlman

Living in the Stream of Yes

Awareness in Dating– Re-post

Orange Field, 24 x 30, $525

Orange Field, 24 x 30, $525

Posted originally in 2014, I have edited and send it off for you to consider…

Because my girlfriend Eleanor and I are both dating, I had extra help raising my awareness to an outdated tape from the culture this week.  Eleanor had come home from a date and soon thereafter started believing “He is just not that into me”. She and I had talked, I had listened to the account, and I had a gut feeling that her assessment of the situation was more optimistic than it felt to her. From some of the things she told me he said and did, I thought he did like her.

Then this week I had a date ( aside: the man had the same first name as Eleanor’s male interest!- no lie) and soon after I got home I heard myself express a similar sentiment “I don’t think he liked me that much.”  In the moment those words felt true! But wait! Didn’t I just see that we women can run our stuff! Hmmm… What did I do?

  • I appreciated that I noticed! I dubbed the phenomenon “Girl Nuts”.
  • I focused in on enjoying my day to day life– so rich in wonderful things- clients for healing, painting, friends calling, gardening, walks in nature, etc.

Then into the next day I recalled when my date first laid eyes on me. In that instant he looked very glad to see me, admiration in his gaze. It came to me– in the privacy of my mind I could keep playing the positive picture over and over for myself.  Why not play that in my mind rather than doubts about his opinion? I can uplift myself!  Inside I saw his big smile greeting me with an appreciative gaze.

Know what? Four days later he called. He wanted to thank me for a good time and would I like to go out with him again. The appreciative gaze was better guidance than the “Girl Nuts” programming of the past.

Take Aways for you, Dear Reader:

  • Do not believe everything you think!
  • Find the best feeling you can and groove with it.
  • If you find yourself thinking a disapproving thought, a thought you do not want, look for another preferable thought, image or feeling and review that in your mind, or
  • Dive into fun pursuits, concentrate on something compelling, involve yourself elsewhere in your life, or
  • Appreciate yourself and your world– be specific ( and possibly long-winded!) or
  • Do all of these!
  • Keep going!

Have a reaction to this small victory? Please share your comments or upbeat stories, I love to hear from you. jpearl@streamofyes.com

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